


Poison Devil

by Scyllaya



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dark, I am not kidding he is crazy, Imprisonment, Kidnapping, M/M, Stockholm Syndrome, dark!Gabriel, dub-con, non-con, there will be blood and murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-06
Updated: 2012-11-06
Packaged: 2017-11-18 02:45:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/556017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scyllaya/pseuds/Scyllaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel does what he wants, like always. But this time his main focus and agenda is Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Livejournal on Mar. 21st, 2011. http://scyllaya.livejournal.com/67154.html
> 
> Theme song of the fic is A Perfect Circle's "Counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the ward rums"
> 
> It really is dark, so you have been warned.

_Now_

It wasn’t actually pain. Not like a knife cutting into his skin or a gunshot, not like fire or a fist landing crushingly on his bones breaking skin. It wasn’t pain like that, just pressure, pressure in his head mainly, but also in his lungs and muscles, like he was very deep underwater without choking. He could literally feel as the veins stretched beneath his skin unnaturally. He knew that blood was dripping from his nose, because he could feel it sliding down his lips and the coppery smell of it filled his only working sense. Maybe his ears were bleeding too, he couldn’t feel it.

So it wasn’t pain, just the overwhelming feeling of his life slowly slipping away from him, no pain, just the darkness already crawling upon him. Then it was suddenly gone and he could breathe freely and he could hear again now that blood was not rushing in his ears. He looked up, barely able to move his head he felt so dizzy, there were dots dancing in his vision and it was really hard to focus, but he did. He looked at the archangel with a determined expression.

‘Where is he?’ he asked, but maybe only choked out the words as it was hard to form words with his brain being this sluggish. But the fog was lifting now.

‘Always the same old song’ he heard the annoyed answer.

‘What did you do to him you son of a bitch?’ he asked, his mind was clearer now. ‘If you hurt him I swear to--’

‘To God?’ he asked with a barely contained laugh. ‘Wake up, bucko. You can’t do a damn thing and He certainly won’t care about that.’

‘Where is he? Is he alive?’ he asked then and the angel groaned.

‘You’re boring me here, Sam’ he said.

‘Where is he you fucking bastard?!’ the pressure came back, but not slowly as it did before, but slammed onto him immediately. Now it was pain, immediate sudden pain, like thousand pins stabbed into his body at once.

‘Now what did I tell you about taking such a tone with me?’ the archangel asked after the pressure eased from Sam’s mind and body again. ‘You do realize that you’re dying, right? But you’re still crying for your big brother? Seriously?’

Sam heard the footsteps as the angel walked closer to him where he was pinned, bound to the wall by unseen force.

‘Fine’ he said, he didn’t sound angry, but amused all of a sudden. ‘You want to see your brother? That much I can give you, I let you see him. I’m a nice guy after all.’

Sam didn’t have to raise his head and look at his face to hear that he was smiling as he said those words. The next moment Gabriel snapped his fingers and the world shifted around them immediately. The first thing Sam heard was a scream.

xxx


	2. Chapter 2

_Then_

Dean was beyond annoyed with the case they were working on. He of course preferred to do the foot-work to research, but he’s been walking the streets for hours and he was getting pissed of not being able to pick up any new clues. Sam was of course back in the motel doing said research Dean tried to avoid, but he was ready to admit that maybe it was time to head back and help his brother. Or they could suit up and question some witnesses.

Dean started to walk down the few corners towards the Impala when on the next corner suddenly someone grabbed is arm. By the time he reacted he already felt the familiar pull on his body and the shift in his surroundings accompanied by the quiet sound of wings. He turned around immediately in the place they arrived to, not taking in his new surroundings just yet and he stopped, just as suddenly as he started the movement.

‘Gabriel’ he said staring at the archangel with something close to shock. ‘I thought you were dead’ he said and he was definitely going to be angry if Gabriel just tricked them and faked his death to lay low for the rest of the Apocalypse.

‘I was’ Gabriel said as he walked away from Dean. The hunter followed where he was going with his eyes and that’s when he noticed that he was standing in an apartment. It was awfully colorful with the black and white tiles and red furniture, not to mention all the chrome in the kitchen. The kitchen where Gabriel went, right to the fridge and he pulled out too beers from it. Offering one to Dean, who felt pretty much in the Twilight zone at this point.

‘So the Big Guy got you back?’ Dean asked, but Gabriel shook his head.

‘Kali’s spell bound me to this realm, so even dead I was linked here. It… helped me find my way back you might say. It took me a lot of time to filter through and piece myself back together, but…’ he shrugged and took a swing from the beer. Dean did too.

‘Ok, that’s good’ Dean said and remained silent for a while, before it really started to bug him what was this about, because sure, Gabriel came through in the end, saved their asses and all, but this was still weird.

‘You know I was on a hunt when you whisked me away’ he started.

‘It can wait’ Gabriel said as he sat down to the kitchen table and motioned to Dean to take a seat too.

‘Okay, I could call Sam and…’

‘I wanted to see you alone first’ Gabriel answered and Dean wanted to object, but swallowed it. The guy died for them dammit. Dean sat down and saw that Gabriel smiled a bit at that, not much, just a corner of his mouth and it was soon hidden as he took another swing from his beer, but Dean saw it.

‘You know… we did it, I mean you definitely know that already, with the rings and the cage and all that. Your plan, it worked.’

‘I know’ Gabriel nodded. He was unnaturally serious, but maybe this dying-resurrecting business took a toll on him or he was not in the mood for jokes, maybe he was just not putting up a front for once.

‘So um… it… really helped a lot… to know, and um… and even if I asked too much, I know that now, you helped… we couldn’t have stopped it without you so… thank you’ he managed to get out finally. Damn it was awkward. Dean hated saying stuff like that. With Sam, Cas and Bobby they rarely said thank you, because it was a two-way street and they helped each-other, but there was nothing he could’ve done for the archangel not then and probably not now either so at least he had to say thank you, however worthless words were.

‘Well, you were right’ Gabriel said. ‘I said as much in my message’ at this he looked at Dean and there was a trace of that familiar glint in his eyes the hunter knew and Dean found himself almost smiling, because yeah that porn DVD still laying somewhere in the trunk of his car was definitely one of a kind. ‘And I get to call Luci a dick, that felt really good’ Dean huffed out a laugh at that. ‘Getting stabbed by my own sword not so much’ the angel added.

‘I’m sorry’ Dean said. He pretty much asked Gabriel to die when he asked him to fight Lucifer and he did, there were days when he still couldn’t believe it, even with everything else that happened since that day.

‘I know you are’ Gabriel said. ‘You demand such things, but after given you realize how great a sacrifice was, you never forget those who helped you or stood up for you.’

Dean didn’t know what to say to that so he just went with. ‘Good that you’re back’ and he felt like he was being honest. They were not allies technically or officially or whatever, but they were not enemies as it seemed and Dean could get behind that.

One beer turned to three and Dean once again became painfully aware of why he told Gabriel that they were alike, it was almost disturbing and gave him flashbacks to that siren that dropped a dime on him. That was not a pleasant memory. But after a while Dean realized that he was sitting there and drinking beer for hours and that his brother was definitely looking for him now. He still had a case too. He told as much to Gabriel.

‘So if you could zap us back to Sam’ he started but there was silence following his words. Gabriel finished his current beer and put the bottle down to the counter.

‘No’ he said.

‘What do you mean “no”?’ Dean asked in confusion.

‘Exactly what the meaning of “no” entails’ Gabriel supplied in a calm tone. Dean stood up from his chair and suddenly became all too painfully aware of the fact that there were no doors, nor windows in this place.

‘Take me back’ he said, his voice still even.

‘No’ Gabriel answered simply. ‘Not yet’

‘What? Then when?’ he demanded.

‘In time.’

Dean took a step back and this was not good, it was anything but good. He took in his surroundings swiftly then became annoyed with himself, because what? He was gonna attack an archangel with an ugly chrome 1960s style lamp? Gabriel was still sitting calmly at the table, but now looking at Dean as the hunter quickly puzzled out the he was trapped. In every possible way.

‘What the fuck is this?’ he asked. ‘Is this one of your sick games? Is that it? Huh?’ Gabriel regarded him with a particular expression that Dean couldn’t read. ‘Answer me, dammit!’ he shouted and the world shifted around him so suddenly that he didn’t even have time to blink.

He was at the wall and he was waiting for the familiar pressure and pain he always felt whenever demons pinned him to a surface with their power and it almost startled him when it didn’t came. Gabriel was walking closer to him slowly and Dean felt the first trace of panic rearing its head within him. He didn’t get why this was happening, he thought… that the archangel demigod that killed him over a hundred times for his own amusement was suddenly his friend because the Devil was their common enemy? Sometimes he really was an idiot. Gabriel stopped right in front of him, more inside in his personal space than Castiel usually was.

‘What are--’ the question died in his throat as Gabriel slid even closer, smoothly pushing his body to his. Dean’s pulse picked up and he strained his muscles even more, but he couldn’t move. Gabriel leaned close until his mouth was right next to his ear.

‘I know you find it hard to believe it right now, but I am doing this for you’ he said, he raised his hand and Dean froze completely when his fingers touched his neck sliding down slowly, stroking his throat and then gliding even lower. Gabriel’s nose was so close that it brushed Dean’s earlobe. ‘You will thank me for it’ the angel said, before his lips touched the skin on Dean’s neck. The hunter wanted to turn away, to somehow put distance between them, but he couldn’t move an inch.

‘Stop it’ he said, because now he really was on the verge of panic. This was not Gabriel’s usual type of torture. That was hot chicks with super powers or getting shot in Dr. Sexy MD. Gabriel’s hand slid down his chest and he heard as the archangel took a deep breath, so close to his ear it was louder than anything.

‘Hush’ Gabriel told him, but he seemed distracted. And Dean’s panic rose as his hand descended. No matter how much he tried to move, he couldn’t. He just couldn’t believe this was happening and he didn’t understand it. But he couldn’t start shouting at him, cursing loudly, because it wouldn’t help. No one would hear him and no matter what he still couldn’t move.

‘Gabriel… stop, please’ he was not someone who begged for his freedom (often), but this was terrifying him. The way Gabriel’s lips were still on his neck kissing lightly or more like just tasting him, and as his hand continued to slide down his chest slowly fingers tracing his muscles through the layers of clothing, fear gripped him much more easily than it would have if Gabriel had a knife in his hand and he had pain to face. Or only pain. And then he felt as his belt was loosened.

‘No! No… Gab--’

‘I won’t hurt you’ said the angel, mostly just whispered it to his skin as he undid Dean’s belt, then unbuttoned his jeans and finally dragged the zipper down. Dean shut his eyes tightly. His breath was coming in short gasps, his muscles tight from all the force Dean put in them as he tried to move and his heart was beating so vehemently in his chest that he feared it would burst. A hand pushed into his jeans and stroked him over his boxers and the reality of the situation hit him again with a force of a semi-truck. He was soft of course, but with the amount of adrenaline in his veins and the way Gabriel’s hand stroked him over the thin material he knew no matter how hard he would try to keep it from happening his body would react.

Gabriel shifted and he was completely in front of him now, his other hand came up and tugged Dean’s jeans a bit down, not much just a few inches and the hand on his dick suddenly was under the material and fingers closed around his length. With his eyes shut Dean tried desperately to abstract from what was happening, maybe filling his mind with different pictures, let his body react and maybe it would be over quicker then.

Then he felt as Gabriel sank to his knees and that made his eyes snap open involuntarily and his brain made a halt. He was not thinking about what the angel might want to do to him, but he definitely didn’t think that, even if he still wanted him to let him go no matter what. And shit, he felt as he was getting half-hard from the way Gabriel stroked him up until this point. He very pointedly did not look down. This couldn’t be fucking happening to him. It didn’t make sense, not in any possible way, why would Gabriel… a hot wet mouth closed around the head of his dick and then his entire length was encircled the next second, his dick hitting the back of Gabriel’s throat as the archangel swallowed him down easily. It caused Dean to breathe in sharply, but he managed to bite his lips so he didn’t make a sound.

His brain was a litany of no-s as he squeezed his eyes shot again and he bit down on his lips even harder, almost drawing blood, when Gabriel started to move. His head moving back and forth easily, his lips tightly wrapped around Dean’s dick and his tongue pressed into the flesh, caressing tender spots once in a while. Dean tried, but there was no way he could’ve kept himself from getting completely hard in a few minutes. He did the only thing he could think of and tried to stay silent as much as he could.

Sweat was breaking out on his skin and fuck he didn’t want this, none of it, but his body reacted no matter what he did and he felt as his orgasm was coming closer and closer by the second as Gabriel’s skillful mouth was working on him. If it would’ve been a completely different situation Dean would’ve said that it was one of the best blowjobs he ever got, but like this it was the worst. He never thought that it was possible; forcing an orgasm on a guy, because that sounded so crazy, but he didn’t want this and his body was not listening to him.

He was breathing hard and tried to close out the noises he heard, but it was not possible because he felt it and heard it. And Gabriel was sucking him just hard enough, the way he usually liked it. And it was messy and hot and then he started humming and Dean could’ve screamed in frustration because it felt even better, but now he heard Gabriel’s voice and it made him face this without any chance of turning his head away and not thinking about it happening.

Gabriel gripped his hips tighter and Dean felt that he was close and he didn’t want to hold back he just wanted it to be over so he let it wash over him. He probably didn’t succeed in keeping himself completely quiet as he emptied himself into Gabriel’s mouth, because the archangel didn’t drew back and kept sucking and licking until Dean was done and drained, physically and emotionally numb. His body wanted to bask in after-glow, but he didn’t let it.

He was breathing hard, trying to get his heart to slow down a little so it took him a few seconds to realize that his lips were bleeding as he bit down onto it too hard and that Gabriel stood up again. There were fingers on his lips and Dean could move his head enough to jerk away from the touch. He didn’t open his eyes, he didn’t want to see his face. When he heard the chuckle his anger grew and it squashed the feelings of shame down immediately, not completely but enough.

‘Oh, don’t look so mad’ Gabriel said, he was close enough so that Dean could feel his breath on his face, but he still refused to open his eyes and look at him. ‘You will beg me for this and much more soon enough’ he said in a low tone, not exactly threatening, but not something Dean could completely identify, but it made his eyes open. Because no… just no. He saw Gabriel smirking at him from the corner of his eye before the angel was gone and Dean slid down the wall as the force keeping him in place was suddenly gone. He fixed his clothes, zipping and buttoning up his jeans immediately, but beyond that he didn’t have the strength to stand up in the empty apartment for a very long time.

xxx


	3. Chapter 3

Gabriel didn’t came back until the next day, or Dean suspected that it was already another day, but since his phone was gone and there was no clock, nor windows to see if it was dark or not Dean couldn’t know for sure. He assumed he was alone for at least 14 hours, which was just enough time for him to get his shit together and try out every possible way he could think of to get out the place. Nothing worked of course, after a while Dean thought that Gabriel left him alone for exactly that reason, so Dean could get his escape ideas out of his system in peace.

The apartment was on one hand an undivided space. Bed on the one end, something living-room like in the middle and a kitchenette at the end.  Then there was a huge bathroom (with a freakin’ hot tub of all things), but that was it. Nothing more and nothing less. In some ways the place was annoyingly and scarily like the Green Room Zachariah stashed him in. He tried breaking stuff, but whatever he broke was restored to its previous state in a second. So he couldn’t damage the walls or the roof. He figured that he probably had to be able to break through dimensions or something to be able to get free as he remembered where Zachariah’s room was and of course Gabriel’s TV Land popped into his memory too.

What was even more annoying was that when he cut his hand to see if he could draw on the walls not just the blood disappeared almost immediately, but the wound on his palm sealed without a mark after a short while. Not like an angel banishing sigil could help him in any possible way in this situation, unless he wanted to piss Gabriel off. The healing though was more than strange at first, but then it terrified him why Gabriel would want him to heal this quickly from injuries. The other very disturbing thing was that unlike Zachariah’s Green Room this place had everything, a bed to sleep in, a bathroom and a kitchen, so it was clearly a place where someone, a human could live (or be kept) for a very long time. And Dean didn’t like that one bit.

He tried praying to Castiel, but he wasn’t heard. He figured that his friend would most likely take a freakin’ minute to get him out of Gabriel’s prison, so that his prayers were unanswered either meant that Castiel couldn’t reach him despite hearing his call or that Gabriel made it impossible for other angels to hear Dean. He was an archangel he could probably pull that off.

So Dean stayed awake, because there was no way he would’ve been able to fall asleep and tried everything that came to his mind in order to escape or just give him the illusion of a possible escape. Circa fourteen hours or more and nothing. It’s not like Gabriel would leave Holy Oil or Archangel Blades lying around in this personal “Idiot Box” of his.

Dean was sitting on the edge of one of the couches for a while now as there was nothing else he could’ve done, his mind was still racing to think of something, anything, but nothing came. His mind was blank. His body tensed completely when he heard the flutter of wings. He felt as he froze while sitting there, he was not used to be on someone’s mercy, he always tried to avoid anything like that because the only time the control of his fate was taken away from him completely was Hell and the feeling of helplessness crawled inside him, twisting his mind already, but this was different, because here he didn’t know what could happen to him.

Some noise from the kitchen made him snap his head up, it was surprising that the angel didn’t speak to him already. There were paper bags on the table, very distinctly looking like shopping bags. And it made Dean frown. Gabriel was putting away stuff into the cupboards, not even glancing towards Dean’s direction. He put away things to the fridge and everywhere around the kitchen like he was some normal human guy in his apartment after a shopping tour. It made Dean’s blood boil, he wanted nothing more but stab him in his stupid face.

Then the archangel suddenly stopped while looking at some canned food, one in each hand with a frown on his face.

‘Well drats’ he mumbled. ‘I hope you like spicy stuff, cause I forgot to buy regular’ he said in an apologetic tone as he looked up at Dean. His face was calm, nonchalant, almost cheerful. And that? What the fuck? Acting like they were like… and why the hell, and how dare he?

He just grabbed the closest object he could move (it was probably a lamp) stood up from the couch and threw it at him with full force. Gabriel just moved slightly out of the way and the silver glass shattered on a cupboard. Dean knew, logically knew that it wouldn’t achieve anything, but he had to do something!

‘Ok, I get something else later’ Gabriel continued almost as if he didn’t even notice Dean boiling with rage and throwing stuff at him.

‘I don’t fucking care about the fucking food!’ Dean shouted. ‘I want to get out of here!’

‘We’ve been over that Dean-o’ Gabriel said as he put the cans away to another cupboard. Dean noticed that silver lamp was already back to its usual spot so he grabbed it again and threw it at the angel. This time it shattered in the air even before reaching him. Gabriel sighed. He fucking sighed like Dean was some troublesome kid and he was asking himself why he was putting up with him. But what angered Dean the most was how he acted. How he behaved exactly as he did yesterday in the beginning, like everything was fine and dandy and he didn’t…

‘What is this?’ Dean asked, growled. ‘What the fuck is all this?’ he asked louder as Gabriel ignored him. As he still didn’t get an answer he kicked the coffee table that tipped over a standing lamp and it broke with a loud clank on the tiles. Gabriel looked up from his food sorting.

‘You might want to behave’ he said. ‘And shouting won’t get you anywhere.’

‘Fuck you!’ Dean snarled. ‘If the only thing I can do is to shout until I’m blue in the face then I will fucking shout! And I will keep shouting unless you make me shut up, so fuck you!’

Gabe was in front of him so fast that he couldn’t react. Gabriel’s hand sealed over his mouth as he grabbed Dean’s jaw with one hand. Dean tried to twist away first, but he stopped struggling as Gabriel’s grip was too strong for him to fight off and he didn’t want to end up with a broken jaw. Both of his hands shot up and grabbed Gabriel’s forearms, not like digging his fingers into him did anything to help, his arm felt like a piece of stone. And Gabriel could keep him in place with only that one hand easily.

‘Don’t temp me, Dean’ he said quietly. ‘I know of too many ways how I could shut you up’ he said. The long pause that followed his words was just enough time for Dean to get nervous, adrenaline was already working in his system. Then Gabriel’s hand slid a bit to the side and he dragged his thumb down Dean’s lips, the hunter jerked away from the touch as soon as he could. Gabriel looked at him for another moment and then he was back in the kitchen a second later. It was strange seeing Gabriel blinking from one place to another he acted more human before, but nothing surprised Dean anymore.

He took a few calming breaths now that he was released again and watched as the archangel resumed putting stuff away. The little show of power was enough for Dean so his rage was again pushed aside in favor of giving space to anxiety, maybe even the first traces of fear.

‘What are you gonna do to me?’ he asked, his voice quiet now.

‘I’m not going to hurt you’ Gabriel said in a serious tone, but he said that already yesterday right before… that, so it didn’t reassure Dean one bit.

‘Why are you doing this?’ he asked then, because sure they were not allies, but what did he do that got Gabriel’s anger directed at him?

‘I’m helping you’ Gabriel said and Dean frowned again. He said that before too.

‘Helping me how? Keeping me trapped here?’ he asked, raising his voice again. Gabriel looked up at him sharply for one moment, but his features smoothed out a second later.

‘In a way’ he answered as he turned around to put some stuff away to the fridge. Dean felt that he was getting angry again, even though he knew that somehow it was easy to piss Gabriel off as of late.

‘Why?’ he asked.

‘Now is not the time for discussing that’ Gabriel answered. ‘I think you will be more receptive later.’

‘Why not get it over with? Is this really one of your fucking games? Is this entertaining to you?’ Gabriel closed the fridge and turned around.

‘No, I wouldn’t call it entertaining one bit, but it is interesting. Like those catastrophe footages on news channels, it’s painful to watch, but you need to watch it to know, to really see what’s going on, and you can’t actually look away despite all that pain and destruction.’

‘What the hell is that supposed to mean? You’re feeding me cryptic angelic crap’ because that was it what bugged him since the first second looking at Gabriel. He was acting more like the other angels in some ways, and completely disturbingly in the rest of the time.

‘Well, like it or not cryptic angelic crap is what you get for now as you’re just raging and rattling your golden cage. So I think you need to calm down first and when you managed that, we talk’ he dropped a smile to the end of the sentence and he was gone in the next second. Dean cursed at the sudden disappearance, but he was immensely relieved that he was alone again. He did not like the angel being anywhere near him.

He kept looking at the kitchen where still there was some food out on the table and Dean realized that it was quite a lot of stuff that Gabriel was moving around while he was there. Dean had a bad feeling about that and he was right. The angel didn’t return for a very long time.

xxx


	4. Chapter 4

Dean woke from restless sleep slowly. The bed was comfortable, but he couldn’t sleep properly at all since he ended up here which was not surprising. This time as he opened his eyes he was greeted by amber ones looking back at him. He shot up from the bed and away as quickly as possible with his muscles all sluggish and his brain still foggy with sleep. He tried to be alert all the time, but he couldn’t. Gabriel just turned his head to follow the movement from his spot from over the covers and Dean didn’t want to think about how long the angel might have been back while Dean was asleep.

‘You’ve been doing ok?’ he asked conversationally as he starched in the bed like he just woke from a nice relaxing sleep.

‘You fucking bastard’ Dean told him. His voice was really hoarse, since he didn’t use it at all since he was left alone and he had no idea how long that actually was. He was beyond angry at this point, there was literally nothing in the apartment but the furniture, food and everyday articles for personal use, like a razor to shave and shampoo and toothpaste. No TV, no clocks, no radio, no books, not even a fucking magazine. And Dean was beyond confided at this point because he had literally nothing to do than stare at the walls, eat, shower and sleep. He felt like a hamster in a cage but those little bastards at least had a treadwheel, Dean had nothing. So he was on edge, he was pissed half the time and when he got too tired of being angry he  just felt drained, completely and utterly bored out of his mind and he just walked around in the apartment like a zombie. He had way too much redundant energy as he was used to run and fight and do things, many psychically tiring things, and now that he couldn’t he was off-balance, and there was almost nothing to use that energy for. He had the urge to try and attack the archangel, but that would’ve been stupid, maybe suicidal and he did not want to get near to the angel in his free will.

Gabriel hopped up from the bed; he was again in the cheerful chipper mood, creepy staring in the bed while Dean slept put aside.

‘Still so hostile?’ Gabriel asked.

‘Fuck you’ Dean answered while he glared at him from his spot on the other side of the wall. He just noticed that Gabriel was not wearing his jacket only the red flannel shirt, he looked at Dean again for a few moments then he sighed again. And Dean just wanted to explode, by all means if he was this annoying to Gabriel he could just let him the fuck go, but the outburst died in his throat as Gabriel undid his cuffs and started unbuttoning his shirt. Dean felt as if cold water washed through him in a blink of an eye. His words got stuck in his throat and he made an involuntary step backwards, his back almost hitting the wall. It was such an instant reaction that he did it out of instinct rather than a conscious thought. Gabriel glanced at him again when he moved.

‘Relax’ he said as he tossed his shirt down to the bed. ‘I’m only going to enjoy a bath’ he said and Dean could see that he almost rolled his eyes. Yeah like Dean wasn’t justified to think otherwise. Gabriel also pulled the white undershirt over his head tossing it down to the bed and left his boots there too, but fortunately didn’t continue with the undressing there, but walked into the bathroom. Dean let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as his muscles relaxed. He heard the sound of running water; because of course Gabriel didn’t close the door. He stayed at the wall though, not moving an inch.

He stayed there for quite a while and he tried to make sense of all this, any of this, but he couldn’t. Besides being held captive Gabriel didn’t do anything else to him, not since what happened on the first day and that was what confused him the most about all this, because he didn’t understand why that happened. He heard as the water stopped and some splashing noises which told him that Gabriel was probably in that ridiculously large hot tub. He didn’t get why he was taking a bath here, angels didn’t need to clean that way, so it was probably just something he liked. Gabriel confused him more than ever.

But he was here for a long while now without anything but the walls staring back at him so he walked closer to the bathroom door. He took a breath and stepped in sight, standing at the doorframe. Gabriel had his head leaned back on the edge, while he was sitting there. His hair was already wet and slicked back by the water as the hot surface was steaming, fogging in the mirror and making the air wet and warm.

‘Is Sam okay?’ he asked finally. It was roaming in his mind most of the time he was here. He had no way of knowing if he was fine or not and he didn’t put much hope on getting an answer from Gabriel, but he had to ask, he had to at least try.

‘What makes you think that I know that?’ Gabriel asked. Then he opened his eyes and sat up in the bath a bit, his chest rising up from under as the water ran down his skin.

‘You didn’t do anything to him?’ Dean asked then.

‘No’ the archangel answered while keeping his eyes on him the entire time. And Dean had no reason to believe that, but the truth would’ve been more painful, it would’ve hurt him. Not like he knew what Gabriel really wanted, he kept saying he didn’t want to hurt him, and that this was for him. Which of course Dean was sure was a load of crap.

‘Ok’ he said finally and turned away from the bath walking back out; he practically felt Gabriel’s eyes on him.

Gabriel came out of the bathroom some time later, he was only wearing his jeans, walking barefoot on the floor and he had a towel in his hand drying himself up. Dean was sure that he could just mojo things like water away, but he didn’t try to think too deeply about it. He just stood at the other end of the room, keeping distance.

‘You said this was for me’ Dean told him, Gabriel just glanced at him for a second. ‘And don’t tell me that I need to fucking calm down, because I’m not going to calm down. I’m just going to get more pissed or go fucking mad in this place all alone with nothing to do’ Gabriel dropped the towel down and was looking at him now, at least he got his attention, he didn’t know whether it was a good thing or a bad yet though. ‘So talk now’ he demanded. Fuck him if he thinks he can be intimidated, he felt as his heartbeat picked up, but he was not backing down. ‘Why is this for me? How? Why would it help?’ he asked. The “why” was the most urgent question in his mind, because even if he got a legitimate reason as how this was for his benefit – which he doubted – that would still leave the question of why the angel would give a crap. He had fucking enough of divine attention.

‘You won’t see it yet’ Gabriel answered.

‘Fuck your cryptic bullshit Gabriel, why the hell are you doing this to me?!’

‘Because I give a fuck about you, okay? Because I care!’ the angel snapped back and Dean shut up for a moment, silence between them for a short while. Then Gabriel started walking closer and Dean’s flight and fight instinct kicked in almost immediately, but he pushed it aside. The archangel seemed like he was on the edge of getting angry and Dean really didn’t want to go there. Gabriel didn’t stop until he was right in front of him and Dean swallowed when the angel put his hands on the wall on either side of his head. He was still way too close to Dean’s liking and half-naked on top of all that, but they were not touching at least.

‘We’re alike, but you’re still blind’ Gabriel said, his voice had a certain edge in it that made Dean certain that he would snap if he got pushed more. ‘I was in your place, but I know better now and you will realize too you just need someone to guide you’ Dean knew that he was frowning in confusion at the angel, because he couldn’t look away from the almost golden looking eyes fixed on him. ‘You are chained and used and hurt over and over again, but I will set you free.’ One of Gabriel’s hands moved and Dean had to do his best not to try and move away, but he knew the angel wouldn’t let him so he forced himself to stay still as the hand moved and hovered a few inches away from his face. ‘You taught me to stand up and fight and I died learning that lesson, but we are connected because of it’ his eyes trailed off from Dean’s own green ones, looking at different parts of his face or even at something else, Dean wasn’t sure. ‘So I will save you’ Gabriel finished.

‘Save me from what?’ Dean asked and his voice was too small even for his ears. Gabriel’s hand moved closer and Dean couldn’t suppress the flinch as he moved his head away to avoid the fingers touching his skin.

‘From yourself’ he answered looking into his eyes again his fingers not moving further to touch, but drawing back as he stepped away. Dean breathed out, but didn’t have time to ask more questions as the archangel was gone again. As the hunter looked around he noticed that the jacket and other clothes disappeared along with him, but his eyes widened when he spotted the TV and the stocks of magazines next to the couch.

xxx


	5. Chapter 5

Dean was tired. He was not on the verge of insanity caused by boredom all the time now, but he was tired. He couldn’t sleep properly. He always was a light sleeper, easily woken by noises close to him and he never really managed to settle into a normal sleeping pattern after Hell and during the Apocalypse, not even with Lisa. As he still had way too little to do in his personal angel-cage he found himself mostly unable to sleep properly. And again the fact that he couldn’t follow the passage of time was more annoying and disturbing than he first thought it would be. He never knew if he slept only an hour or eight, even if he doubted that he slept eight hours straight in years, but he couldn’t know.

He never would’ve said it out loud, but he missed sunlight. It sounded so lame, but the artificial light was getting on his nerves. There were no night and day just lights off or lights on, it was bothering him. And suddenly he had the thought that every zoo that kept animals in small cages or glass terrariums should be sued to death, and he noticed that he was over a limit that he was comparing himself to zoo animals, but he shrugged it off. He wasn’t able to tell how long he was there. He noticed that his hair grew a little, but that was not enough to know exactly how much time passed, just that he was tired and he didn’t have a reason to be. He thought that it was insane being tired of doing nothing, but despite being tired he couldn’t sleep cause there was no way he could exhaust himself enough to do that.

Dean wasn’t sure if he ever appreciated television as much as he did now, because yes it didn’t escape his attention that none of his channels had any commercials, news or anything that would’ve been able to tell him something about what was going on outside – anywhere, he didn’t care about where at this point – but it was still better that staring at the walls. There were way too many porn channels and he pointedly avoided them, because from the first glimpse he got of a chick going down on a guy he tensed and had to switch off the TV as his mind traveled back to his first day and Gabriel on his knees. And he never wanted to think about that, ever, but even his morning wood reminded him of that unfortunately. The second reason was that there was no way in hell he wanted to get hard or do something about it in this place where the archangel could just pop in anytime.

Because he did that now, he always disappeared for longer or shorter times, but always showed up. Dean didn’t get any new answers out of him though and he was getting tired of asking and not getting anywhere. The sound of wings didn’t even startle him at this point as it was expected.

‘What time is it? Dean asked him.

‘Why does it matter?’ Gabriel asked.

‘I just want to know if it’s night or day, not like it would give away any vital information or whatever I’m not supposed to know’ Dean said, but he didn’t get angry, it never ended well. There was silence so Dean looked up from where he was lying on the couch – he was reading some old copies of Weekly World News – at the archangel. Gabriel was looking at him, then looked around in the apartment and waved his hand nonchalantly. It was suddenly so bright that Dean had to squeeze his eyes shot, but then when he opened it he jumped up from his place. Because almost the entire left side of the wall of the bedroom and living room part of the place was replaced by a window, from floor to ceiling, like those of office buildings or designer apartments.

And he was surprised, shocked maybe. It was day all right, but he couldn’t tell how early or late because what he saw outside was endless snow-covered mountains, sharp cliffs, deep valleys and nothing but the dazzlingly bright blue sky above it. They were so high up that Dean could see clouds swarming and floating if he looked down hiding whatever lay under the snowy mountains.

‘Is this real? Are we really here?’ Dean asked as he walked closer and put his hand on the glass. The brilliance was still hurting his eyes as the sunlight was reflected up from the white snow, but he didn’t want to close it.

‘Yes, we are’ Gabriel answered. ‘Curious where?’ he asked, Dean didn’t turn back towards him.

‘Himalayas?’ Dean guessed and there was a pause behind him.

‘Yes’ Gabriel said. ‘How did you know?’ Dean shrugged.

‘You’re an extremes kinda guy, if you want to go to a mountain you go to the biggest mountain’ and there was a chuckle behind him following his words.

‘Are you going to try and break out now?’ Gabriel asked.

‘No’ Dean answered. He doubted he could damage the windows as they looked thick and even if he did. Whatever the fuck would he do 20 000 feet high up in snow-covered mountains, besides dying. Maybe that’s why Gabriel put up the window to show how completely alone they actually were even beyond the walls, but Dean didn’t care right now. He just pushed his forehead to the cool glass and closed his eyes, enjoyed as the sun warmed his face and he breathed out and was almost grateful that Gabriel didn’t talk again for long minutes.

‘Anything else?’ the angel asked then and Dean frowned. Did he really just ask that?

‘You letting me go’ he said, still leaning against the window.

‘Besides that’ Gabriel prompted and things like this just confused Dean even more, because one second he was almost scared out of his mind and looked like Gabriel was ready to rip him apart or do something else, but equally violent. Then he was non-caring and chipper on some days, and sometimes he was like this, silent, serious without a trace of aggression in him. It was weird. But this time it calmed Dean because this mood of his was good. When he showed up looking angry to begin with Dean learnt to shut his mouth, because while Gabriel still kept himself to what he said about not hurting Dean, the hunter did end up with some light bruises when the angel grabbed his arm or something similar. The marks of course faded away within minutes, but it was still not a game Dean wanted play, so when Gabriel looked pissed he didn’t push him. When he was cheerful it was the most normal-looking, but what Dean came to hate the most, because he shifted from that mood easily to angry or to that weird intense way of his that was too uncomfortably obvious in its meaning. So the silent and calm mood was good, it was the less troublesome. He was not aggressive and Dean had the most chance of getting anything out of him.

It was weird how he knew all that, but it was not like he had anything better to think of besides driving himself nuts about where Sam could’ve been or if he was okay and whether he knew who took Dean, he doubted that last one because dead archangels would be pretty low on the suspect list. So since his amazing skills of passive-aggressive and full-on aggressive behavior didn’t get him anywhere he started thinking about other ways he might be able to get out.

It seemed like – no matter how his current situation was undermining it – that Gabriel was somehow trying to help Dean in his own twisted way, or he thought that he was helping by some logic anyway. He definitely didn’t seem like he wanted to hurt Dean as even when he got pissed he calmed himself as soon as he grabbed him or stepped into his personal space too much. Now Dean couldn’t for the life of him figure out why Gabriel was so fixated on him in the first place, but he was, it was obvious at this point. So putting those two things together Dean figured the only thing he could do was trying to decipher that particular mystery and with that maybe there was a chance to talk the angel into letting him go. He could convince him to fight Lucifer after all, so it was worth a shot. It was either that or doing nothing and Dean was not good at doing nothing.

When he turned back from the window and the brilliant whiteness Gabriel was sitting on the bed, eyes on Dean of course. The hunter calmed his nerves and walked closer.

‘No, I’m good’ he told him, which was a weird thing to say and was far from the truth. He sat down onto the bed too, to the same side but to the headboard which was probably as far away as possible why still sitting on the same bed.

‘Is there something you wanted?’ Gabriel asked.

‘Why do you think that you have to save me?’ Dean asked and Gabriel huffed with a distant, rueful smile on his face. Dean thought that he wouldn’t get an answer after a bit of silence but then Gabriel shifted on the bed to face him, although he was not looking at him.

‘You’re not like Michael’ he said. ‘You were at one point, obedient soldier following your father, but you’re not, you have not been for a very long time now. You are so much more like me than I would have ever thought you would be.’ Dean didn’t interrupt; he was too much focused on the fact that he might get some answers out of the angel finally. ‘You stopped being what Heaven wanted you to be, I stopped being that too, a very long time ago.’ He looked up at Dean then, his eyes lighted up by sunlight showing that golden glow in them. ‘You and I, we are the same, you’re just very young.’

‘I’m human.’

‘Trust me when I say, that’s an advantage’ Gabriel remarked. ‘Despite having its great disadvantages as well’ he admitted, while shifting on the bed a little, his eyes turning away again, looking briefly out of the great mountains. ‘I told you that I was in your place, on that very part of a road you are on right now. And I’m far from knowing everything, but this I’m sure of. I’d say it was a ‘crossroads’ if that expression didn’t have all those lovely demonic undertones.’

This almost managed to make Dean huff out a laugh, almost.

‘I thought I understood’ Gabriel said and he shifted again and it was much easier to notice that he got closer this time. ‘Heaven and Earth, angels, gods, humans… mostly I did, some of it I refused to understand. Some I wanted to understand more than I could’ he looked up at Dean again. ‘You thought me something by being you, some traits of humanity I have forgotten or just didn’t want to see anymore. And parts of myself that I buried so deep that I never thought that it would surface again’ he slid closer again as he looked up at Dean, but the hunter didn’t feel the usual tension rushing through his body at the movement. Gabriel was still serious, but his quiet demeanor started to light up with a hint of passion rising from within him as he spoke, but still no trace of the now familiar aggression in him. ‘I had to learn those things again, and you made me realize that. I am selfish, but I am also repaying the favor’ he said. ‘Because we walk the same road, maybe we did for a while now as we made some similar choices.’

‘I never turned my back on my family’ Dean blurted it out before he could think about it, but a second passed and Gabriel didn’t become angry. He just looked at Dean with searching eyes, the golden shade almost inhuman looking, and showed more time and age beneath than Dean even saw before in them.

‘Because you’re human’ Gabriel said and he smiled at it, like he was complimenting him. ‘That’s why I told Lucifer, that you are better than us’ he said and his voice was much quieter now, but Dean could still hear him because he was close now. Dean didn’t notice when he got so close that he was at arm’s length, it escaped his attention, but he was aware of it in every inch of his body. It was tension that seeped into his muscles, but there was no fear next to it, he didn’t felt threatened as the archangel was still calm and intense, but not hostile. ‘You’re simply better than me’ Gabriel said, but it was close to a whisper. And Dean wanted to draw back, stand up and walk a bit further, because the angel was really close now, but he was still not afraid.

Lips touched his own, gently, a barely there touch and he saw it coming. He felt the fingertips on his cheek, but his mind and body just didn’t react to it. Gabriel’s lips were soft and warm pressed to his own, innocent almost. And it took Dean several moments before his mind caught up with reality and he drew back and turned away, leaning away. Gabriel didn’t follow, just looked at him for a few moments in silence.

‘I stood up to my family and faced what they were. I knew it before that but I was blind and maybe even a coward to try and open my eyes for real. But I did, it got me nothing but my brother stabbing me to death, because I was weak. My strength would’ve been enough, but I had no intent. Even after anything I rather let my brother kill me than having to live with the thought that I harmed him. I will spare you that choice and its consequences’ Gabriel finished, Dean frowned at his words. But then it hit him and it was like a bucket of ice-cold water.

‘Sam’ he said. ‘You’re talking about Sam’ he stood up from the bed stepping back from him. ‘You think he’s my chain, right?’

‘He’s been torturing you all your lives, betraying you again and again. So it’s time that you stood up to your family’ Gabriel stood up from the bed and his face lost the last traces of gentleness it was nothing but sheer determination written on it. ‘Because it won’t stop. He will betray you again, he won’t ever stop hurting you. But we are so alike Dean; you’re too sentimental as usually I am and it makes you blind. My eyes are open now and I will make you see the truth too.’

Dean wanted to ask what he wanted to do to Sam, but Gabriel snapped his fingers before he could speak. And Sam’s voice caught his ears. He turned quickly and his eyes widened as he looked at the TV. In the screen it was Sam and Bobby hovering over some books while arguing about something. It only took him a few moments to realize that it was him, they were looking for him. It was so good to see them and just hear their voices that Dean walked closer to the TV ignoring the archangel. He only noticed a minute later when he looked around that Gabriel was gone again, but he didn’t care.

xxx


	6. Chapter 6

Dean’s been watching his brother. For days, now that the window was there he could follow how many days passed and while Sam was in a completely different timezone Dean could follow what he did, saw as he was looking for him. He felt stalkerish, but he could at least see that his brother was fine and doing his best to find him. He didn’t find anything, no clue about Dean’s disappearance. Dean expected as much, but his brother was a smart one, he would figure it out one way or another sooner or later.

Dean avoided talking to Gabriel as much as he could avoid it without pissing him off completely. He didn’t want to risk that now when he finally knew what was going on with his brother and he also didn’t want the archangel to do anything to Sam. His brother was not in Gabriel’s good book that he could tell, he wasn’t even sure whether there was anyone else besides him in it. He still didn’t give up on the chance that Gabriel might let him go if he played his cards right. He was sure that seeing as Sam was looking for him day after day would be a good start to prove that his brother was no chain and that he would not betray him again. That was in the past, with enough time maybe he could get that in Gabriel’s head, even if he knew that it would be not easy, the archangel seemed too determined for that and Dean wasn’t sure which one of them would turn out to be more stubborn.

He inwardly groaned every time he confirmed a similarity between them, it was disturbing. He was quick to build his words upon it when he needed the archangel’s help, but in this situation it worried him, because some characteristics of Gabriel were not exactly pleasant and Dean didn’t want to think that he was like that even if he had a deep suspicion that he actually was, just a human toned-down version of it.

And he wanted to keep his distance more than ever, because he had that weak moment of pure insanity while Gabriel talked, when he didn’t try to push away or fight off the angel leaning closer and sealing his lips to his. And that moment was now killing him, driving him crazy. Sure he wanted to act all calm and seemingly open to Gabriel’s explanations, but he had an agenda dammit! That he would figure out Gabriel’s intentions and use them to prove him wrong. And he just sat there when it happened, his mind and body were not screaming at him to get away, he was relaxed and only common sense, that he somehow lost for a while in that conversation, made him pull back, because he was insane of not doing that immediately.

Then he got distracted by finally seeing his brother – even if not in person – and it was only an hour later when his eyes widened and he probably spoke out his thoughts loudly when he asked himself _“What the goddamn fuck is wrong with you Dean Winchester?”_ in a shocked and incredulous way. Because really, how did that happen? He tried to squash the thoughts aside while focusing on his brother’s search.

Sam was making calls and doing research about the area they were at when Dean went missing and he and Bobby called every contact and hunter they could think of in order to get any information, hoping that someone spotted him maybe. There was not much San could do as there were absolutely no clues. Angels didn’t leave any signs behind if they visited some place, demonic presence was easier to pick up and that was what Sam suspected most of the time as there was a huge electric storm right after Dean disappeared. And Dean found himself sitting in front of the TV and mumbling to his brother who couldn’t hear him that “Lucifer, Sam. Think of Lucifer. There were always storms wherever he went, with Raphael too. C’mon, Sammy I know you will think of it.’

Sam didn’t, but again he had no reason to. Michael and Lucifer were in the Cage and Dean was not Raphael’s priority for a long time now, who would even think of Gabriel with him being officially dead? So his brother kept looking and looking without success until one day he stumbled upon a case and Sam went to do the hunt, but Dean nodded when he did because there was nothing he could’ve done for Dean and people were still in danger. So he watched as Sam did the hunt solo. Research, questioning and finally a salt and burn as it was an angry spirit.

Gabriel was there a lot, not really saying anything about what was happening with Sam and Dean hated to think that he was waiting for something, because he didn’t want to think of what it could’ve been.

When the ghost was gone, bones fried nice and crispy Sam hit the road again and Dean only realized a day later that he was already following up a lead to a possible hunt in another state. Without a phone-call to Bobby, without anything. So it was another case and Dean hated that he felt Gabriel’s eyes on him sometimes, but the archangel didn’t say anything just disappeared for slightly longer periods of time.

Sam was focused on the job, completely. Did research as soon as he had an early breakfast, he talked with the police, examined the corpses, talked to witnesses, and listened to some god-awful music while driving the Impala that was definitely not coming from one of Dean’s tapes. And sure enough Dean spotted that the piece of plastic crap iPod was back in the dashboard. And it made Dean cringe when a memory muscled its way to his head.

‘ _I told you to take care of her, not to douche her up._ ’ Dean accused angrily. ‘ _I thought it was my car’_ Sam told him before Dean ripped that stupid thing out and it was an unsettling thing seeing it there again. The hunt took almost a week as Sam couldn’t track down the creature responsible for the deaths for days, but he finally managed to get rid of it after a very long night out in the woods.

Dean expected him to call Bobby, to ask the older hunter if he found anything about Dean or for Sam to go back to research. Sam just drove more, at least two states. Stopping in motels to sleep, eating his girly salads in diners. Sitting in front of his laptop sometimes, but the way he could observe Sam, he could see that he browsed articles and read online news mostly. And after a few days of nothing he was once again researching… a new case. Without a second spent on Dean being gone.

Dean swallowed as he stared at the now familiar pattern of Sam starting on the research while preparing to gather more information in the area. And a cold feeling settled in his stomach watching Sam going around his business like it was an average day on an average hunt and Dean not being there with him was something he was used to already. He slept peacefully at nights, didn’t drink just the occasional beer, nothing was off about him.

‘Third case in a row without a second wasted on your disappearance. What does that tell you?’ Gabriel asked as he suddenly was sitting right next to Dean, slightly behind him on the bed.

‘Fuck you’ Dean told him as a reflex, but it came out a lot less angry as he intended it to be. He probably sounded rather weak actually.

‘I know I don’t have to spell it out for you’ Gabriel continued. ‘He thinks you’re dead’ Gabriel said easily. ‘He thinks you’re dead and he moves on as this time around he thinks that you are supposed to be enjoying the Heavenly Memory Tour.’

Dean wanted to tell him to shut his mouth, that he was wrong, but he couldn’t really find his voice to argue at the moment. He felt a touch on his bare arm – he was only wearing a T-shirt – a slow slide of fingers from his wrist up then down again after reaching his biceps. It was an idle touch but it still made his skin prickle and he wanted to shake it off, but he kept his eyes on the screen. There were goosebumps on his arm in the entire length and he felt it as it spread on his skin even to places he wasn’t touched.

Gabriel shifted closer and his mouth was directly by Dean’s ear again, he really hated when he did that.

‘You could’ve been taken by demons’ the archangel told him. ‘That’s what Sam thought all along, right? You would be tortured day after day, Sam has no way of knowing that he was wrong by assuming that’ his fingers didn’t stop their up and down light stroking on Dean’s arm. ‘And still… no one is looking for you anymore, Dean.’

The hunter jumped up from the bed as he shoved the angel away.

‘This is your fault you bastard’ he accused. ‘You caused this! You brought me here! How long have I been here anyway, huh?’ he tried to feed his anger, but he had nothing to grab onto. He shouted and argued with Gabriel for so many times there was nothing he didn’t say already and it was not anger he felt mainly. It felt frighteningly like desperation.

‘No Dean’ Gabriel said, still sitting on the bed comfortably. ‘I may have started it, but I am not the cause just the catalyst. I just set up a scenario that put you two in a situation where you can see your brother the way he really is.’

‘How long?’ Dean asked instead. Stubbornly clinging to that question, not wanting to hear what Gabriel said. The angel looked at him for a long time.

‘Six weeks’ he said then. And fuck, it was a lot, but it felt so much longer. He figured that he was feeling it as more as he had nothing to do and only managed probably a few hours of sleep each time he tried to shut his eyes, but it was still a lot, almost two months.

‘He’s still looking, he still wants to find me, just…’ he trailed off when he couldn’t come up with the right words.

Gabriel looked at him and Dean knew that he had to be wrong, but it seemed like he was smiling at him sadly, then he shook his head.

‘You will see’ the archangel said before he vanished between two blinks with the sound of fluttering wings.

Dean wanted to curse, but any word he tried to say was choking him. Six weeks was a lot, but Sam wouldn’t stop looking for him, move on or be over him in six fucking weeks. He just found the hunts and he had to do what was in front of him to kill as many evil sons of bitches he could because they always did that, it was the family business, it was important. There was a voice in the back of his mind that scarily sounded like Gabriel telling him that if that was the case it meant Sam pushed aside Dean’s fate in favor of strangers. And he didn’t know how he felt about that.

He watched Sam work on the case again, but he was edgy and moody and he hated every passing second. He wanted it to be done and then he would see that Sam was still thinking of him being gone, he would resume to research, after the case. He was sure of it, because it’s been only six weeks.

Every day was nerve-wrecking. Dean couldn’t sleep again and the second day a snow storm started outside which turned his days from brilliant white into an ugly dark grey, just to screw up his mood completely, fuck you very much world.

Sam was wearing his suit posing as an FBI Agent and was questioning witnesses all day long. He was sympathetic and understanding and completely like Sam in every possible way. And that bothered Dean, because he should’ve been at least a little depressed or at least be pissed that his brother was gone, right? He should’ve been concerned or worried or fucking sad, but he was normal. Fucking normal, like everything was perfectly normal and fine.

He cursed when Sam pulled out his all understanding emotional face while talking with one of the relatives of the first victim. She looked devastated and her eyes were red, she was grieving.

 _‘I can’t talk about this anymore’_ she said in a broken voice on the screen. _‘I can’t think about David being gone like that, I just… I can’t do this anymore’_ she started crying again. Sam reached out with a hand.

_‘I know it’s hard for you Amy, I know. Believe me I do.’_

_‘How could you possibly know?’_ she asked in a voice that was close to getting hysteric.

‘ _I know how you feel, I lost my brother too’_ Sam said and Dean went cold in an instant. _‘Little over a month ago’_ Sam continued as she looked at him with teary eyes.

 _‘What happened?’_ the girl asked.

 _‘He was also an agent’_ Sam said. _‘He died in the line of duty.’_

 _‘Were you close?’_ Amy asked in a quiet voice.

_‘Yes, very close. But it’s because of him that I keep going. I know he would want me to gather my strength and go on with my life and to be strong. And I’m sure that David would want the same for you. So you have to be strong. Help me here, for your brother.’_

Dean didn’t hear what the girl’s answer was as he slammed the closest ugly chrome lamp he could find into the screen and the TV died in a shower of sparks and smoke. He was shaking in his entire body. Sam used “his death” in a con, used it to get information out of a witness. In a job, like he was just a story he had in his pocket and could get out when it suited the situation, like a convenient sympathy-card.

His emotions where chaotic, a complete whirlwind of confused mess he couldn’t control. He was angry and desperate. He wanted to scream and maybe he was screaming. He wanted to get out. He broke the standing lamp on the window. He threw the small coffee table across the room. He wanted to get out! He had to show up and punch Sam in the face for giving up. He had to go now, Sam was moving on! Sam already moved on! He had to go back, because he couldn’t let that happen. It couldn’t be happening. Sam was perfectly fine, not a trace of pain, no grief, no sadness, no nothing. He wasn’t looking, he wasn’t searching, he wasn’t hurting. He threw random objects he could get his hands on to the window, but the glass didn’t break. Sam didn’t break, he thought Dean was dead and he was fine. He had to get out!

He was shouting and screaming and cursing Gabriel, but then he lost track of his words just tried to break the glass, he had to break the glass. When nothing worked he tried cracking it, kicking and hitting and the pain didn’t register in his brain or the blood on his hands and his uncovered feet as he stepped into glass the remains of the lamps and vases. He just shouted because he had to break the window. Had to break the fucking window! He had to break it!

Two arms wrapped around his torso and pulled him back from the glass. Strong and sure, arms he couldn’t fight off.

‘Stop it!’ Gabriel told him. Dean started to fight him off, turned around in his arms, trying to push him away, hitting his chest or punching his face, but Gabriel just re-wrapped his arms around him now keeping his arms at his sides.

‘Let me go!’ he shouted.

‘Stop!’ Gabriel told him again. ‘Stop hurting yourself!’

‘Let me go’ Dean said again, but he couldn’t fight Gabriel off and everything was just breaking, everything but the fucking window. He couldn’t break that, he couldn’t fucking break it. He didn’t know when he fell to his knees jut that Gabriel went down with him. His arms wrapped tightly around him. ‘Please’ he asked. His voice was cracking, already hoarse from shouting. ‘Let me go, please’ and maybe he was crying and he was begging, but he didn’t fucking care.

‘No’ Gabriel whispered, shaking his head. He kept Dean close to his body, one hand reached up to stroke his hair, and the other kept him in place, fingers spread on his back. He whispered soothing words Dean couldn’t understand, he couldn’t fight, he couldn’t shout, it was hard to breathe and everything hurt and he cried as his hearth broke.

‘I’m here precious’ Gabriel whispered. ‘I’m here for you.’

xxx


	7. Chapter 7

Dean didn’t know how much time passed, he wasn’t really paying attention. He didn’t know how long he tried to fight Gabriel so he would let him go, he didn’t remember when he stopped fighting. He couldn’t remember how long he cursed him or begged him, how long he shouted and cried. It was all just a blur. He didn’t remember when they moved to the bed where he was lying now, still held tight and close, his face buried in Gabriel’s shoulder and neck. He didn’t remember when he grabbed Gabriel’s shirt and jacket not to push him away, but to hold on. He didn’t remember when he went completely silent and he didn’t remember all the things Gabriel whispered to his hair, while keeping his arms secure around him. He didn’t notice when the bloody wounds on his hands and feet disappeared or that the room was once again intact.

He was silent and numb, tired and completely empty. He didn’t cry because he had no more tears left, he didn’t speak because there was nothing left to say. Gabriel was still stroking his hair or his back, gently, soothingly, patiently, no trace of anger or annoyance. He was unnaturally warm; everywhere they touched lying there, Dean could feel it. Where Gabriel’s arms were wrapped around him, where their legs touched, he could feel it under his hand where he clutched his clothes; he could feel it in his fingertips when they grazed Dean’s head and neck idly. But it was calming, grounding maybe.

He turned his head a little, his head still lying on Gabriel’s shoulder, but now he could speak.

‘How did you know he would…’ he trailed off. Betray me? Forget about me in a few weeks and go in with his life happily? He didn’t even know how to call it.

‘He always does’ Gabriel answered and it was such a simple statement, such a simple truth. It hurt, it felt like something was clawing up his insides brutally, tearing off the flesh from his bones from the inside out, ripping him apart like hellhounds. Because after everything, that’s how long it took: six weeks. He didn’t even look like he was mourning, but was willing to do the whole sad-eye thing telling how he lost his brother to a complete stranger on a case, and even before that he was balanced, relaxed… like he was the one who got rid of his chains finally. The memories of Heaven burned hotter than ever in his mind again. He did his best to forget about all of it, that his brother’s best memories were the ones where he could be away from Dean and their father, but now the pictures were vivid and alive in his mind. Those memories didn’t stop to be Sam’s best ones just because they managed to get their shit together to fight the devil side by side when the world was ending, but they had to settle things back then because that was the only way to fight.

And Sam had no reason to believe he was dead. Because no matter how long it was if someone just went missing you don’t give up and say “They’re probably dead” then shrug and move on only after six weeks. Especially since Sam suspected that demons were the culprits. Demons certainly wouldn’t have killed him that easily, that would’ve been the end of their fun after all. They would’ve been well capable of keeping him in some hole on chains for such a long time. And between the time Sam stopped looking for him and started working on jobs nothing happened that possibly could’ve given Sam the reason to believe that he was truly gone. He didn’t even try to call Castiel, not since Dean was watching him.

If something else than Gabriel would’ve took him he would be on his own, completely at his captors mercy, not like with Gabriel it wasn’t that the case, but still there was a difference between torture and a demon dungeon and Gabriel’s “golden cage” – as the angel called it – and this thing Gabriel had for him. Gabriel wasn’t hurting him, not really.  Dean knew what real torture was all too well, so he wasn’t gonna start whining about someone sucking his dick without his permission at this point. He was scared when it happened, but mostly because he thought that Gabriel would do something more, that he would want more, but he stopped. Dean figured it was like one of those moments when the angel became emotional and acted before thinking, just like when he lashed out in anger but stopped himself shortly because he didn’t want to hurt Dean.

He was hurting now, but it was not Gabriel hurting him. He was the catalyst, and damn him for being right, but it felt true, the angel forced him to see it, but he was not the cause for his pain, not the one who made him as miserable as he was. It was overwhelming, he was too numb to cry or shout anymore, but he felt nothing but the pain in his chest chocking him. Maybe if he asked Gabriel would snap some scotch into existence and he could drink himself unconscious, maybe he wouldn’t mind per se if Gabriel was in one of those weird moods of his, maybe he wouldn’t even say no. He would feel something else then, he really needed to feel something else, because this was too much and he wanted to chase it away, push it down or make it fade.

He might’ve shifted closer a little when Gabriel stroked his back again, burying his face in the angel’s shoulder again. He took a few deep breaths as the angel moved to accommodate his new position, then Dean kissed his neck. He didn’t actually had to do anything but push his lips a bit closer, to slightly open his mouth so it doesn’t seem accidental. He was sure that it was the most pathetic attempt of “making a move” in history, but he wasn’t even sure that it was that. He didn’t really know what he was thinking actually.

‘Dean?’ Gabriel’s voice didn’t sound confused, he sounded more like he wanted Dean to say something, but Dean couldn’t. He couldn’t say what he wanted, because he had no idea if he really wanted it, it was probably the worse idea ever, but he really wanted to feel something else than the pain eating him up from the inside out, something… anything. But he couldn’t say that, if he said something it would be like asking for it and he couldn’t do that. He could let it happen, but he couldn’t ask for it.

Gabriel shifted again, moving away a bit, leaning up on his elbow as Dean rolled to his back. One of the archangel’s hands was under his back. He didn’t move away much just so he could look down onto the hunter. Dean only held the eye-contact for a moment, and then he looked away turning his head, in his mind he just kept repeating _“Don’t make me say it”_.

Gabriel leaned down and kissed the corner of his eye, then his cheeks, then he ducked his head until he could seal his lips on Dean’s and make his head turn back towards him with the movement. The kiss was slow, gentle and exploratory, only lips on lips and Dean kissed him back tentatively. Gabriel’s free hand on his neck was a much surer touch, just like the way Gabriel’s body moved half on top of him.

As Dean didn’t protest Gabriel’s kiss became a bit stronger and his body shifted closer too, he slotted one of his knees between Dean’s legs and let his weight settle on him. He wasn’t heavy but he was warm, his body radiating heat or maybe only Dean was just too cold, he didn’t care he just wanted something other than pain burning in his chest and Gabriel’s heat would had to do.

The moment struck him a second later, why was an all-powerful archangel here with him, comforting him, the stupid ridiculous little human? But Gabriel kissed him with passion and Dean let go of thoughts.

Gabriel only shed his jacket and he didn’t get clothes off Dean either, he stroked his skin – the muscles on his chest and stomach, his sides – under his T-shirt and kissed his neck and mouthed at his jaw. When his hand wandered down stroking him through his jeans, Dean stiffened for a moment, but Gabriel captured his lips again, kissed him deeply while pushing his hand down onto his dick and Dean kissed back as he felt that he was getting hard from the touch. When Dean relaxed again and responded Gabriel undid his jeans, the sound of the zipper made Dean’s heart beat vehemently, not as much from fear as more from excitement this time, it still made his breath get caught in his throat as his mouth went dry. He wasn’t sure of this after all, he wasn’t to begin with, this was a bad idea, the worst idea. He couldn’t do this, what was he thinking? He wasn’t! He was about to open his mouth and say something when Gabriel put pressure on his dick again.

‘Hush’ he whispered to his lips. ‘I’ll take care of you’ he said as he pushed Dean’s jeans down a little to give him more room, Dean’s protest died on his lips. The next time the angel moved Dean wrapped his arms around him and kissed the lips hovering so close to his own. Gabriel practically growled into his mouth as their tongues met and he pushed Dean’s boxers out of the way too. He liked that Dean responded to him. Dean just didn’t want him to move away, this was much, way too much, he couldn’t handle more right now and if Gabriel moved away it would be more, he knew it. Gabriel didn’t let go of his lips this way as his hand wrapped around Dean’s length, his fingers just as hot as his skin everywhere was.

It was only his hand, but fuck it felt good. He started out with slow almost teasing strokes, but then his movements became certain, his grip tighter, his pace faster and fuck if he didn’t do it exactly as Dean liked it. He smeared the moisture at the tip with his thumb and then Dean found himself groaning in protest when Gabriel let go of his dick for a moment, but watching as the angel licked his palm and fingers compensated for those long moments. When he wrapped his fingers around his completely hard cock again Dean closed his eyes and moaned and the noise was swallowed when Gabriel kissed him again.

Dean’s dick slid in the angel’s slick palm easily now and Dean found himself bucking up quite a few times when Gabriel twisted his wrist just the right way, it was so good. It was wet and warm and his grip was tight, his movements fast and sure, the hunter soon found himself fucking up into the fist eagerly while his lips grew tired and sore from being kissed long and hard, he was out of breath and his entire body grew hot. Then Gabriel let go of his lips to bite and lick the skin on his neck and Dean just tipped his head back to get more. He was already close he could feel it, but this time he didn’t want to let go immediately, he wanted to ride out the pleasure more before getting over the edge.

One hand of his was now buried in Gabriel’s hair, the other gripped the sheets tightly as he panted; the archangel was still mouthing on his neck finding his sensitive spots easily, all the while his grip was a delicious slick friction on Dean’s dick. His hand moved now even faster, his hold almost too tight and hard, but just perfect. So good, too good Dean was so close. Gabriel gripped the back of his head and crushed their lips together suddenly, his kiss almost biting, vehement and Dean was over the edge, his body tightening up in pleasure as it washed through his body. He moaned loudly into Gabriel’s mouth as he was coming over the angel’s fingers and his own stomach, the hand on his dick getting even more slippery as Gabriel stroked him through his climax, not stopping just when the man’s body relaxed again against his. He only stopped kissing him a moment later.

Dean’s mind was fogged, hazy with his orgasm as he tried to catch his breath. He felt way more tired than he usually was after coming. It took him long moments before he noticed that he was clean and back in his jeans and since Gabriel didn’t move from his spot he probably used his powers to clean them up. The angel lay down again next to him and pulled Dean into his arms, the way they were before, but this time he felt the hardness in Gabriel’s jeans when he moved to settle down. His mind was telling him that there ought to be some reciprocation from his part, even if the thought threatened to freak him out at the moment. He wanted to get his shit back together and ask Gabriel, but the archangel spoke to him before he had a chance to open his mouth.

‘Sleep now’ he heard as fingers were in his hair again, stroking lazily. He wanted to argue maybe, even if his eyelids felt heavy. ‘Sleep now precious, I will be here when you wake up’ Gabriel said and Dean wanted to tell him not to call him like that, but his eyes were already closed and he drifted into sleep almost immediately.

xxx


	8. Chapter 8

Days went by in a blur. Dean knew that he ate sometimes and managed to drag himself to the shower too on a few occasions, but mostly he was just mooning around in the apartment doing nothing. He remembers telling Gabriel on the second of third day that he really needed to get drunk and he was willing to do a lot for some alcohol, the angel just motioned him to sit down to the table and a moment later a bottle of good scotch and two glasses were put down in front of him and Gabriel sat down to the other side of the table. Dean definitely planned on drinking alone, but he was not looking gift horses in the mouth.

‘I’d rather make sure you don’t end up reaching the level of alcohol poisoning or drown yourself in the hot tub. Resurrecting is a bitch’ Gabriel told him when he poured for both of them; Dean just grunted and emptied his glass. Gabriel refilled after drinking his own share. Dean didn’t remember much from the last few hours of that day before he passed out. He woke up in the bed with his body draped around Gabriel’s again, both of them fully clothed and just lying on the covers, he didn’t have time or energy to think about it as he felt sick and his headache was threatening to split his head open. Then Gabriel rolled closer and put a kiss on his forehead, and just like that the nausea and the headache were both gone.

‘Did you mojo my hangover away?’ Dean asked sleepily.

‘Yes’ the angel replied easily.

‘Thanks’ Dean murmured, still not pulling away.

‘You’re welcome’ Dean was sure that it would’ve been better if he moved out of Gabriel’s embrace, but he was tired and warm and as comfortable as he could be so he just closed his eyes to sleep some more.

If it would’ve been up to Dean he would’ve drank himself unconscious every day, but that was up to Gabriel and the angel didn’t seem inclined to support his rising alcoholism endlessly, which left Dean to brood around mostly in a sober state, which was horrible. He wanted to shut his mind off and it was hard doing it without any extra help. So he was trying to cope like that. He didn’t have much appetite, TV bored him and he didn’t really felt like talking, even if Gabriel was there. He was always there, which was strange, but Dean just shrugged it off, he was too tired of trying to figure out what might have been going around in the angel’s head.

The nights were the hardest, because without drinking himself into a dreamless unconscious state his mind was torturing him during the night. Maybe he should’ve been used to nightmares at this point, for years now he had them on most nights, not always the same, but always there, darkness and pain just around the corner of his subconscious. While Sam was gone he dreamed about him slipping away, falling down to the cage, now he saw him walking away. Now he was the one trapped, caged and Sam just walked away with a smile on his face, because he was finally free. Free from Dean and no matter what he screamed at his brother he never turned back.

He woke with a start in the darkness, sweat on his skin with his heart in his throat, his pulse beating rapidly under his skin. There was a hand on his forehead and face, Dean blinked a few times before he managed to shove the dream away and look up to the amber eyes looking back at him. It was never completely dark since the window was there, the stars and the moon lit up the snow with light even in the darkest night with tender silver brilliance. It made everything look cold, quiet and fragile, just as Dean felt when he woke up from a nightmare.

‘I can make you sleep deeper, so that you don’t dream’ Gabriel whispered, his fingers still touching his face, a warm touch on his cold skin. Dean reached out wordlessly and tugged on Gabriel’s jacket until the angel lay down next to him. Dean wrapped his arms around his chest and body and Gabriel let him cling to him, pulling him closer whispering soft words that Dean couldn’t understand, maybe he wasn’t even talking in English. He was warm and Dean needed that calming, soothing warmth of the angel’s presence. Gabriel’s fingers stroked the back of his neck and his hair and it eased the pressure in Dean’s chest, made his body relax. He buried his face into his chest and just breathing in his scent – something like ginger and lime – soothed him to no end, made his breathing even out and his mind to clear from the disturbing images from his dreams. It was warm and calming. Maybe because he was an archangel, maybe because Dean knew he cared, because he had to care, he wouldn’t have been there otherwise. And it still hurt to think of Sam, it hurt to remember and it hurt to think, everything hurt, just Gabriel was not hurting him.

xxx

Dean could sleep with his body wrapped around Gabriel’s. It was the only way he could sleep properly. He didn’t think whether it was the archangel’s powers or just his very presence, but he wasn’t sleeping well since he got here so he didn’t care why he managed now close to Gabriel, he was just glad that he could. He really needed it, and it helped more than he could’ve hoped for. He felt a lot more alive only after a few days. He still was far away from being completely ok though, he looked like shit when he checked himself in the mirror, even with sleeping well he still had dark rings under his eyes, his skin was pale and since he didn’t feel like shaving for a while now his stubble almost started to look like a beard.

He tried his best not to think about Sam and he sure as hell never mentioned him either, but when he was finally starting feel a bit alive again he realized that he was running away, ignoring it and trying to forget it. And that was just the same old song, wasn’t it? Forget then forgive, that was the pattern, right? He was down on the ground beat up and broken, but then he always pulled himself together while drinking too much, sleeping too little and when the time came he forgave. Not that forgiving your brother was a bad thing in general, but how many more times was he willing to go through the same thing?

‘Why don’t you have a great big neon sign of “I told you so” up?’ Dean asked as he walked back from the kitchen after eating a few bites. Gabriel was lounging on the bed flipping through channels, he glanced up at Dean then he rolled his eyes.

‘Now why would I do that?’ he asked.

‘I don’t know’ shrugged Dean. ‘Feeling good for being right, amused by little old me being a dumbass, because neon signs look cool and funny, pick one.’

‘I knew I would be right from the start so it’s not something I actually need to celebrate, it was a car crash waiting to happen and I duct taped you to the first row to watch it’ Gabriel told him, he was still flipping through channels though, not looking up at Dean again. ‘And I am not amused by you hurting’ he added a beat later, a bit quieter. ‘And you can’t possibly think that neon signs are cool and funny.’

‘I’m ok now’ Dean answered.

‘I sincerely doubt that’ Gabriel replied immediately and Dean scowled at him, but didn’t say a word. He really did still feel like shit most of the time and Gabriel could tell, so he just crossed his arms over his chest and looked at the TV instead. ‘Would you just come here already?’ Gabriel asked and there was a hint of annoyance in his voice, but not the angry kind. Dean frowned at him some more. And okay maybe he wanted to, but he really-really should not want it one bit. He was supposed to hate the guy, despise him, he was still his fucking prisoner after all, and he had no reason to trust him one bit, no matter how calm and relaxed he felt being close. He was still coming terms with the fact that he couldn’t bring himself to stop sleeping next to him.

He found his legs were already walking closer, he hovered at the side of the bed for a few moments and maybe he would’ve hesitated more, but Gabriel reached up and pulled him down by his wrist, he didn’t resist. Also not when he was drawn closer, it felt almost familiar at this point, the way his body fitted to Gabriel’s like this.

‘No one is here but you and me. No need to put up a front’ the angel told him.

‘I guess’ Dean answered with a shrug, he didn’t really care about that actually, it bothered him more that it didn’t bother him the way Gabriel pulled him close until Dean rested his head on his chest, or the way he pushed his fingers into his hair, stroking his skull and the back of his neck, sometimes his back and shoulder blades, tracing his spine with his fingertips. How Dean caught himself tracing idle patterns on Gabriel’s ribs once, it was strange. Strange how good it felt, how he didn’t care about what he was supposed to feel the second they were touching like this. How he actually wanted to believe that despite everything Gabriel actually wanted to help him, he was just doing a really shitty job of showing good intentions.

‘You said you knew you would be right about Sam from the start, how?’ Dean asked, and damn he still almost choked on his brother’s name.

‘You never saw the worst of Sam’ Gabriel told him, while he turned the volume down on the TV so he could talk quietly. ‘You knew about most of it, but never actually saw it firsthand, so you keep overestimating him or underestimating him, it depends on where you look at it.’ Gabriel again started stroking his hair, it was a bit longer than he usually kept it, but not long enough to start bothering him yet. ‘Even if you got a glimpse of how he can be when he has nothing but one goal in his mind’ the angel finished.

‘There are a lot of things I’m willing to do too, especially for my family’ Dean answered, because he was not much better in that regard.

‘There is a difference. You would sacrifice yourself, your life, freedom, happiness or your very soul. Sam was always willing to make that extra step by sacrificing others, and I don’t necessarily mean that in the most sinister way that he’s willing to kill to reach his goal, even if there was plenty of example of that too, but like choosing his priorities in a way you never would.’

Dean stayed silent after Gabriel’s words, but he knew what he meant. The way his brother was willing to focus on revenge or victory rather than the small things on the way, small but important things for Dean. It was always a big difference between them. Sam was so much like their father in that way while Dean never could be like him completely. He moved to raise himself up to his elbow to look at Gabriel.

‘You know… we could’ve reached this level of understanding sooner if you wouldn’t have gone all psychopath on me on the first day’ Dean told him, because that still confused him to no end. Gabriel confused him in general with his behavior, but that took the palm. Gabriel looked at him then shifted his eyes away.

‘I might’ve… lost my head a bit… with that’ he said.

‘A little’ Dean agreed sarcastically. ‘You’re different’ he concluded. ‘Something’s changed in you.’

‘So you know me enough to say that so certainly?’ Gabriel looked back at him.

‘You’ve been about how similar we are from the start, are you taking that back now?’ Dean challenged and Gabriel didn’t reply. ‘So yes, something’s changed. What?’ he asked. Gabriel took a breath as he looked up at the ceiling. ‘Something’s wrong I know it, tell me.’

‘Later’ Gabriel said after a few seconds.

‘You forced me to face the truth, so you better--’

‘I said later’ Gabriel snapped at him as he grabbed his forearm. His eyes were stormy and his expression hard, his grip was more than strong.

‘Gabriel’ he continued in a calm tone. ‘You’re hurting me here’ the angel let go of his arm almost right away, his body relaxing as he breathed out. Dean knew there would be a bruise if he wouldn’t heal rapidly in this place.

‘Sorry’ Gabriel murmured quietly and Dean blinked in surprise, because that was a first, Gabriel apologizing for his outburst. Dean looked down at his arm where the bruise didn’t even have time to form as the dull pain vanished quickly.

‘How are you doing this? Healing me even when you’re not here?’ he asked.

‘You’re in my awareness constantly so…’ he shrugged. And that meant to Dean that he was watching him all the time, and that was creepy… considerate, but creepy as hell, crazy archangel.

‘I still don’t think I like being your hobby’ Dean said with a sigh as he lay back down. Gabriel shifted and turned towards him so that they were face to face on the bed.

‘You’re more than that’ Gabriel said. ‘And I don’t _want_ to hurt you’ he added. ‘Do you believe me that?’ he asked. Dean looked at him for a moment then nodded. Gabriel’s face softened at that somehow, all the hard edges disappeared from his face smoothly. He reached out with a hand and stroked Dean’s neck and face before leaning closer.

‘You can’t possibly want to kiss me, I’ve been totally disgusting lately’ with the way he ate and drunk and dragged himself around the apartment pathetically, he definitely didn’t look so good.

‘No such thing precious’ Gabriel told him with a smile.

‘You have to stop with that girly crap’ Dean told him, but he didn’t sound half as annoyed as he intended to. Gabriel smirked at him as he got even closer, his hand holding Dean’s face angling it closer.

‘Oh, but you are so fucking precious’ he said. ‘This you have to bear, big boy.’ The chuckle that erupted from him surprised him and maybe he was even smiling a little. It felt so strange after such a long time. ‘That’s more like it’ Gabriel grinned before he pulled Dean’s face towards his own to close the remaining distance between them and sealed their lips together in a deep kiss.

xxx


	9. Chapter 9

Dean woke up to sunlight warming his skin and he groaned in displeasure when after turning around it hit him right in the face. He really had to get Gabriel to snap some curtains into existence because now that he actually slept well – and peacefully – it was a bitch to wake up to dazzling sunlight blinding him. He groaned again when he turned and stretched his arms only to notice that he was alone in the bed. Again.

Since he started to feel better Gabriel went back to his habit of disappearing from time to time, and Dean really would’ve liked to know what he did while away. He might have been bothered by the fact that he woke up alone when he fell asleep wrapped around Gabriel, but he was not going to admit that. Ever. So he just scrambled out of bed and went to take a shower.

It was not like Dean suddenly turned into a giant girl who always wanted to wake up encircled in arms pressed to the heat of another body. To breath in that sweet and fresh scent that just seemed to linger around the angel – he could always smell it on the sheets and covers too – while fingertips grazed his skin or touched his hair, slowly and gingerly like he was something… precious. And damn Gabriel for not quitting with that stupid girly pet name. Damn him for looking at him like that, for kissing him like that. Damn him for pulling him into his arms like he never wanted to let go and damn him for not being there in the morning after that. Fuck it, yes! It pissed him off that he woke up alone.

He was edgy and twitchy when Gabriel was gone, he felt stressed and restless. He broke some of the interior a lot of times when he got really annoyed, nothing big just the TV remote, kitchen-cabinet door, standing lamp, fridge-door. Everything magically repaired itself so not like it mattered; he just had to do something because he was getting frustrated. Being close to Gabriel was not just soothing and relaxing anymore, it made fire burn under his skin. Made him want to press his body to his tightly, covering the smaller frame with his own and kiss him hard until his lips were red and swollen. Put his own mouth on his skin, figure out if he tasted the way he smelled, how much hotter his skin could get, or if it would flush red with excitement. What would make him moan, what would drive him crazy with lust, make him lose control. What would make him put his hands on Dean again… and dammit what the fuck was up with that? He was obviously set on getting into Dean’s pants from the start and now he was just not making a move. It was driving Dean crazy, he felt tightly strung ready to snap.

He toweled himself dry and put his jeans back on before walking out to the kitchen. His hair was starting to bother him, it almost got into his eye on the front and he never let it grow this long so he was not used to it. It took a bit longer for it to dry so that was a bitch too.

‘Hey’ he looked up at that, Gabriel was in the kitchenette area.

‘Hey, didn’t expect you back’ Dean told him, because Gabriel usually disappeared for long hours or the whole day, but who knows maybe he left right after Dean fell asleep. The angel just shrugged. And okay, he was back at least. Dean dropped the towel he was drying his hair with and walked right up to him.

‘Did you have breakfast already? Beca--’ Dean sealed their lips together, silencing him and pushing his body to his until they were chest to chest. Gabriel kissed back immediately as he gripped Dean’s hips. Dean just buried a hand in Gabriel’s hair, while he stroked down the side of his neck with the other, following the line of the collarbone, then touching him at the front of his throat where the few buttons of his shirt were undone.

‘Hmm… now that’s the type of welcome I like’ Gabriel chuckled when they pulled apart for Dean to catch his breath.

‘I would kiss you goodbye too if you would stop vanishing while I’m asleep’ Dean told him as he put a few kisses on his jaw. ‘What are you doing anyway?’ he asked then. He drew back and looked at Gabriel when he didn’t get an answer. The angel looked back and Dean knew that face. ‘Right’ he drawled. ‘I’m not supposed to ask questions, right?’ he asked. ‘My fucking bad’ he let go of the angel and turned around to walk back and get dressed.

‘Dean’ Gabriel called after him.

‘It’s fine’ Dean snapped. ‘I’m just your fucking pet you keep for kicks, so obviously I was just thinking too highly of myself when opening my mouth.’

His surroundings shifted so quickly around him that he lost his balance and orientation completely for a few seconds, but he found himself on his back on the bed with Gabriel on top of him holding his face and kissing him forcefully. Dean didn’t fight him, but didn’t kiss back either so he could tear his lips away after a few seconds.

‘Stop it’ he said.

‘Not a pet’ Gabriel told him, his voice hard and certain. ‘I care for you, you know I do’ he added. ‘Never think otherwise.’

‘Then stop treating me like this dammit!’ Dean told him, the angry edge in his voice slipped away into worry. ‘I’m here, I’m not fighting you. I want to understand, but you’re not telling me anything. How could I trust you like this? I want to, but you gotta give me something.’

Gabriel was looking to the side not returning Dean’s gaze and the hunter thought that he wouldn’t get answers.

‘I’ve been…’ Gabriel finally started. ‘Getting rid of some redundant… violence I’ve found myself struggling with’ he looked at Dean finally, his eyes golden as they always looked in bright light. ‘I don’t want to hurt you’ he said then and Dean held his gaze as he let the words sink in.

‘Who were you hurting then?’ he asked carefully, Gabriel didn’t even blink.

‘Useless scum is dime a dozen’ he said. ‘Way too many bastards running around unpunished.’ Dean didn’t know if he wanted to have this conversation while being this close, but as Gabriel was on top of him the choice was out of his hand, maybe it was better. He probably would’ve backed down by now and that would not have been the right reaction when Gabriel was finally being honest, even if his heart rate did quicken a little this way.

‘Okay’ he said slowly after licking his lips. ‘Do you mean flying around smiting entire towns or doing your trickster gig?’ he asked, Gabriel just smirked down at him in a familiar way and that was answer enough. ‘Right, that’s good I guess’ he said.

‘Is it?’ Gabriel raised an eyebrow. ‘You’re not horrified?’ he asked in a low tone. ‘Not disgusted by what I’m capable of?’ he leaned down now and his voice slowly slid into an almost whisper. ‘Don’t you see me as a monster anymore Dean?’ Lips were dragged over his jaw line, words were whispered to his skin and it made a shiver run over him. ‘Don’t you want to shove me away?’ Gabriel’s hand slowly slid down his side, mapping each rib with his fingertips. He kissed his jaw again then his lips hovered over Dean’s, their mouths only a breath away. ‘Don’t you want me to stop touching you?’ he asked. ‘No?’ His hand gripped Dean’s hip tightly, but he didn’t move his head an inch, his lips were still almost brushing Dean’s. Then he rolled his hips down, putting delicious pressure on Dean’s already half-hard dick and making him feel his own hardness confined in his jeans. ‘And since you’re not my pet’ Gabriel breathed on his lips. ‘Tell me to stop… and I will’ he offered.

‘No’ Dean said before reaching up to crush their lips together. Gabriel kissed him almost feverishly, his tongue meeting with Dean’s heatedly as he rolled his hips down again. Dean started tearing off his jacket and Gabriel let go of him long enough to shrug out of it and toss it away. Dean was already unbuttoning the shirt by the time he leaned back down and Gabriel grinned into their next kiss at that. And of course he was wearing that white wife beater under it, Dean groaned into the kiss and turned them over, he was actually surprised that Gabriel let him, until he looked down onto the archangel’s pleased face. Dean settled himself straddling his hip then rolled their groins together, Gabriel gripped his hips again as he moaned at the contact and Dean echoed it as he leaned down to kiss and mouth at Gabriel’s exposed neck and throat. He slid his hand under the undershirt, stroking the muscles on his stomach while he tasted the skin with his lips and tongue.

One of Gabriel’s hands wandered up to his back, dragging his fingers along the line of his spine, making goose bumps appear on his entire back and he pushed his hips down again, even if it was not enough, not nearly enough. Gabriel gripped the back of his skull and angled his head up for another kiss and Dean eagerly opened his mouth to return it. But he was dragging the undershirt up too, ending the kiss to pull it over Gabriel’s head, who lifted his arms to comply. When the material was finally off and tossed away Dean leaned down to put kisses all around Gabriel’s neck then collarbone, dragging his lips down on his chest. Gabriel put his hand on the back of his neck when he reached a nipple and flicked his tongue out to play with it, only closing his lips around it when it got hard. He loved the pleased hiss Gabriel let out in reaction so he went to the other side to give the other nipple the same treatment before moving on to mouth at every muscle, every inch of exposed naked skin.

And yes, Gabriel’s skin got even warmer as Dean touched him even if he didn’t flush red, and yes he tasted so good on Dean’s tongue. Dean loved feeling his heartbeat in his chest while kissing him there, he loved how his muscles reacted to his tongue and lips and teeth. The moan he let out when Dean stroked his hard dick through his jeans made arousal wash over him. He definitely wanted to hear more of that. He opened Gabriel’s jeans hastily, pulling it down a little. He looked up then and Gabriel’s darkened eyes and hungry look was enough to make his pulse pick up and his mouth to go dry. He wanted more; he wanted him to fall apart until he knew nothing but Dean’s name.

He mouthed at the length through the boxers Gabriel wore and feeling the hardness so close to his lips through the thin material made his blood boil with excitement. He pushed the fabric out of the way, dragging it down and freeing Gabriel’s cock completely. He licked his lips glancing up at Gabriel.

‘C’mon’ Gabriel breathed his fingers tightening slightly in Dean’s hair. Okay fuck, he suddenly liked that his hair was not cut for a while. He licked a long line along the side of Gabriel’s dick, then over the thick head. He mouthed on the flesh as he dragged his lips down on the underside and licked at it again before gripping it in his hand. Gabriel groaned as he tilted his head back closing his eyes and Dean licked at him more until he was slick enough for his hand to slide on the sensitive flesh easily. He only made a few lazy strokes, watching it moving in his fist, getting used to the feel of it before he felt Gabriel nudging him closer, he grinned at the angel’s unvarnished eagerness then he closed his lips around the head, sucking on it lightly. Gabriel’s answering moan sent another shiver down Dean’s spine.

He licked at the slit and under the head before moving down sucking more into his mouth pushing his tongue to the underside. But not teasing for long but taking as much of him into his mouth as he could until his lips met his fingers wrapped around the hardness. The noise Gabriel made as his dick slid into the tight heat of Dean’s mouth was breathless and keen so Dean started up a rhythm. Bobbing his head up and down while sucking, his hand stroking everything he couldn’t swallow down.

‘Oh fuck, that’s it’ Gabriel breathed, his fingers twisting in Dean’s hair, grabbing him tightly. Dean moaned around the hard flesh in his mouth at his reaction. ‘Oh fuck, keep doing that’ Gabriel said. Dean moaned again. ‘That’s it Dean, so good. So fucking good.’

Dean’s jeans felt impossibly tight stretched over his hard dick as sweat started to cover his skin, but he ignored it and just focused on the thick length of Gabriel’s cock in his mouth. He moved his hand lower as he took him in a bit deeper, sucking more and gripping Gabriel’s hip tightly with his free hand. Every noise leaving Gabriel’s lips, every word, every breathy moan or deep groan made lust flare up under his skin, he felt like he would burn up.

‘Harder’ Gabriel groaned and Dean sucked on his flesh more, hollowing his cheeks and moving his fist quicker, moving his head faster. Then Gabriel reached down and dragged his hand away from his dick, his grip in his hair holding him in place. ‘Hold still’ Gabriel told him and the next second he started to thrust up into his mouth. Slowly at first and not too deeply, but Dean moaned nonetheless as the angel’s dick was moving in and out of his mouth.

‘Oh fuck yes’ Gabriel groaned. ‘So good Dean, fucking perfect’ he said. ‘Love your mouth, I couldn’t wait to feel it on me. Fuck it was so hard to hold back’ his pace quickened up a little, but he still didn’t thrust too deep to choke Dean. ‘But now you want it too, right Precious? Now you want your lips wrapped around my dick, don’t you?’ his breathing was uneven as he spoke and every word made Dean’s skin tighter, he felt it like he was licking on his skin, arousal was flaming up and his dick was so hard it was almost painful and he felt that the tip was wet and leaking.

‘You’re loving this. I know you do…’ and fuck he was right. His lips and jaw were tired and his back and neck was killing him from the position, but Gabriel was fucking his mouth, his taste on his tongue and he was moaning loudly in pleasure at the feel of it. ‘Dean’ Gabriel moaned as he thrust up more, his eyes squeezed shut, losing himself, falling apart from Dean’s mouth on him. He started moving a bit harder, his dick getting deeper in Dean’s mouth, almost too deep, but not too much. And Dean knew he was close, from the way his fingers twisted in Dean’s hair, the way the muscles on his stomach trembled and Dean sucked more while he moaned loudly, feeling his own orgasm approaching.

The last thrust hit the back of Dean’s throat and Gabriel was coming, filling up his mouth with his hot come and Dean swallowed as much as he could, but most of it dripped out as he was gripping Gabriel’s hips while his own orgasm washed over him. The feel of Gabriel’s dick pulsing in his mouth when the angel emptied himself pushed him over the edge almost unexpectedly. Gabriel slumped back down onto the bed panting heavily, slipping out of Dean’s mouth. Dean licked at his softening dick once more, catching some of the white fluid that he couldn’t swallow right away before climbing back up Gabriel’s body and burying his face in his neck. Gabriel’s arm was around him, stroking his hair soothingly where he gripped him too tightly before. Then he turned towards Dean and captured his lips, kissing him long and deep, fingers stroking his face.

Dean pulled back when he heard water running and he looked towards the bathroom with a frown. Then Gabriel’s hand landed on his groin, stroking his softened cock and his wet jeans.

‘You gotta get cleaned up’ he said and Dean moaned quietly at the touch, even spent it made lust flame up inside of him.

‘Pretty embarrassing, huh?’ he asked, because fuck he didn’t come in his pants since he was a teen and never untouched save after a few wet dreams.

‘Are you kidding?’ Gabriel asked as he mouthed at Dean’s jaw. ‘That you liked it this much… hmm… turns me on like hell’ he said. ‘It’s beyond hot’ he added as he stroked him again through his jeans, pushing his hand down while kissing Dean’s neck and finally capturing his lips again by pulling him closer. And against all odds Dean felt as his dick twitched up in interest at the attention.

They managed to get into the tub without starting a second round and the hot water did wonders. The muscles in his back and neck were getting soothed as he sat between Gabriel’s legs his back pressed to his chest, his head leaned back on his shoulder. Gabriel was stroking his temple and hairline with his fingers and maybe this counted as post-coital cuddling, but Dean didn’t give a fuck, he felt good and it was just the two of them, there was no need to play tough.

‘I thought you planned something else with this tub’ Dean told him and Gabriel chuckled.

‘Yes, but another time’ he said. ‘As great as sex is in here I want you spread open on a bed for the first time’ he murmured into Dean’s ear and the words sent a delicious thrill through Dean’s body, he liked that idea.

They stayed silent for a long time and Dean relaxed completely, he didn’t know if he ever felt so good.

‘You were right’ Gabriel said after a while.

‘About what?’ Dean asked in an almost sleepy tone.

‘I am different’ the archangel told him and Dean opened his eyes at the words. ‘I want you to hear… everything’ he said then. ‘And after I told you… I will let you go… if you want me to.’

Dean turned around in the angel’s embrace to look at him, amber eyes locked on his own hazel ones then he reached out to touch the angel’s face and put a kiss on his lips.

‘Tell me’ he said.

xxx


	10. Chapter 10

‘Have you ever been cut up, shot or wounded when you were on a hunt alone?’ Gabriel asked while sitting on the edge of the bed. ‘When you had to drag yourself back to your motel room and patch the wounds up by yourself because no one else was there?’

‘It happened’ Dean replied, he sat at the headboard. It took Gabriel a disconcertingly long time to start talking.

‘The best would be of course is to get a doctor, right? A professional who would fix you up in no time, but you can’t reach the one you know and you can’t trust strangers. Even with your brother around it would be better even if he’s not necessarily more skilled, he would still do a sufficient job, but you’re on your own, so you have to do it yourself. You got the picture I’m going for here so far?’

‘Yeah’ Dean confirmed.

‘And how does it look like?’ Gabriel asked.

‘Really crappy’ Dean admitted, because he could show a scar if he still had it, but it disappeared when he was raised from Hell. ‘Shitty stitches and it would probably leave a nasty scar’ he continued.

‘Ok, now imagine that you’re screaming from pain and passing out from blood loss constantly and you have to sew your own arm back’ Gabriel finished and he glanced at Dean. ‘And then you have maybe a slight idea about what I meant when I told you that I had to come back here to this world on my own and piece myself back together.’

‘Fuck’ Dean breathed.

‘You got that one right’ Gabriel agreed.

‘But there was really no one--’

‘Who?’ Gabriel asked. ‘The only ones strong enough for this would’ve been my Father or my older brothers. And Raphael was the only one I could’ve gone to, but since you know him I think you will see why I wasn’t eager to ask him for his help.’

‘Shit’ Dean breathed.

‘So you might say I’ve done a piss poor job on my own’ Gabriel said. ‘And the real bitch is that with angels you know there is no body and soul like with you humans, we are light and power and thought, that makes us, that is our true form… and I’m so screwed up’ he huffed out a laugh that was anything but a real laugh. ‘Broken in ways I couldn’t possibly repair… that I still can’t repair. Just patched up not to fall apart completely…’

Dean got off the bed and slid down to the carpet in front of Gabriel reaching out to get the angel’s attention as he seemed to have trailed off into silence. Gabriel captured his hand before he could touch his face, circling his fingers around his wrist, but not gripping it tightly to bruise.

‘But I’m slipping sometimes’ Gabriel told him. ‘I’m not used to being like this… like I’m missing pieces and I just don’t… work right. And I find myself beyond my own control, my own thoughts and powers slither like sand or water and I can’t take a hold of them. That’s what’s different in me Dean, that’s what changed… I’m broken, flawed.’

‘More human then?’ Dean tried, because he knew angels saw them like that sometimes, but Gabriel maybe won’t see it as degradation.

‘No’ Gabriel shook his head. ‘Humans are flawed by design, imperfect as my Father intended you to be, but you are whole. I am flawed because of my own incompetence. I was meant to die and disappear, but I clung to this world by tainted magic and my own stubbornness, crawled back here just to not cease to exist. But I’m no creator so I’m just a crude and damaged version of what I was before.’

‘Gabriel…’

‘Sometimes I wonder if it’s really me at all, or am I just some _thing_ that believes to be a long gone archangel.’

‘No’ Dean told him, he inched closer putting his free hand on Gabriel’s face to make him look at him. ‘It’s you. I know it’s you, I know you’ he told him with certainty. ‘And fuck that broken shit, you fought and came back on your own, maybe it left you scarred but not broken.’

Gabriel let go of his wrist and grabbed his chin.

‘Can you really say that?’ he asked. ‘Do you have any idea what I’ve been doing while keeping you here? How I’ve been feeding my wrath, my violence and how even so I’ve always been just a step away from taking you, forcing you. To make you do what I wanted.’ He pulled Dean closer and he went willingly, his blood rushing in his veins, his heartbeat rising from the fiery look in Gabriel’s eyes. ‘How many times I meant to harm you for fighting me, for angering me.’

‘You never did’ Dean interrupted and he pulled closer instead of away, sliding his hand from Gabriel’s face to his neck, feeling how vehemently his pulse was beating under his skin as well.

‘Never, Precious’ Gabriel agreed. ‘Not you, never want to harm you.’ Gabriel’s hand slid to the back of his neck and he pulled him closer again until their foreheads touched.

‘Why me?’ Dean asked after a long silence. ‘Why do you care so much about me? I got you killed… it’s my f--’

‘The only one at fault is Lucifer’ Gabriel interrupted him. ‘And maybe my other two caring big brothers who arranged his freedom.’

Dean first wanted to ask his question again, but he recognized Gabriel’s silence. It was the same as the one before he started speaking about his return so Dean stayed silent and waited for the angel to gather his words.

‘Coming back… was hard’ Gabriel said then. ‘It was an agonizing struggle and worse than anything I ever had to do. And when it became too much I wanted to stop, stop fighting, to let go and not try again. I asked myself why? Why was I fighting so hard? What was I’m coming back to. A beloved Father who was nothing but cold to me, the family I abandoned and betrayed or the family that abandoned and betrayed me? The only brother who was ever close to me was my murderer. So what exactly I was fighting for? Why come back at all, it seemed so much easier to just stop and let go’ he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. ‘And then I suddenly thought that yes, this is the moment when Dean Winchester would call me a pathetic whiny coward’ he actually chuckled at that and when he opened his eyes they were much brighter than before. ‘I didn’t care about that, my first reaction was “Yeah, fuck you Winchester I did enough”, but the thought wouldn’t leave me alone. I swear just the memory of you was as pigheaded as you are’ he smiled and just seeing it eased some of the tension out of Dean.

‘You remembered me clearly then’ he said.

‘And I got angry, because you called me a coward but I proved you wrong, I faced Lucifer. And I was gonna fucking tell that to your face.’

Dean blinked in surprise at the words, but Gabriel continued before he could speak.

‘After a while it didn’t matter what I wanted to tell you, I just had to focus on something. And that was it, that I was gonna come back and find you’ he looked at Dean again. ‘That’s why it’s about you. I know it was just me hanging on to something, but by the time I was strong enough to heal and resurrect my vessel I only thought of you and that you could need me, that I could help you, but then I just lost it. I got angry and you were finally close and… I wanted you so much.’

Dean just had to kiss him, had to push his lips to his, coax open his mouth with his tongue and pull his body as close as he could in the position they were in. Gabriel kissed him back hard and demanding, pulling Dean closer until he was kneeling between his legs.

‘There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep this’ Gabriel told him when they parted. ‘You understand me?’ Dean nodded, his lips were tingling, his heart was racing and he just wanted to close the distance between them again. Gabriel kissed his cheek, the corner of his eye, his eyebrow. ‘I don’t care about anything else.’ Dean nodded again and captured Gabriel’s lips with his own.

It was a heady feeling, overwhelming. To be that for someone, the sole purpose to go on, to fight and to live. To be someone’s center the way he never was to anyone, Sam may have been his focus all their lives but he never was that for his brother in return, not for his father and not for Cassie or Lisa. But for Gabriel it was him, just him.

He didn’t even realize that he moved just after he was climbing on top of Gabriel. He was mentally scolding himself for getting dressed again in the first place even if their bath was hours ago because he wanted to feel naked skin under him even if Gabriel only put his jeans and undershirt back on. Gabriel grabbed his chin and ended their kiss and Dean blinked down at him in surprise before his brain caught up with him.

‘Oh sorry, was there something else you wanted to tell me?’ he asked.

‘No’ shook Gabriel his head. ‘I just think that you had the lead long enough’ he said and Dean’s eyes followed the motion as he licked his lips. ‘So I will take what I want now’ he wrapped his free arm around Dean and turned them over while repositioning them further up on the bed swiftly. And fuck it was weird that he could lift and move Dean so easily, but it also made desire flame up within him. Along with the dark look on Gabriel’s face it was enough to make his brain scream “more” at him.

‘Yes, take… take anything… everything’ Dean said as he tried to pull Gabriel down onto him, he wanted to feel the heat of his body on his own, but they were not touching everywhere and Gabriel didn’t move an inch.

‘Nah-ah Precious. We’re playing my game now’ he said with a predatory smile, his eyes looked dark amber and promised things that were only done at night behind closed doors where the air was heavy with lust and pleasure, filled with breathy moans and the smell of sex. Gabriel’s place was still filled with cold sunlight, everything was bright and open, no shadows to cover them, no doors to hide behind. Exposed and free. ‘Take your clothes off’ Gabriel told him as he pulled away.

Dean sat up and pulled his T-shirt over his head immediately and also got rid of his jeans and boxers in record time. He loved the way his clothes always magically cleaned themselves whenever he took them off, but again it was so stupid to put them back on in the first place. Gabriel only pulled his undershirt off then he was looking at Dean’s body, his eyes roaming over every angle, every muscle. And Dean felt as his skin got hotter under the gaze, he was getting harder too.

‘Turn around’ Gabriel said next as he knelt back down to the back, Dean wanted to complain that he didn’t get undressed, but he just did what was told him instead. He would get him naked soon enough. Gabriel’s hands were on his back, fingers spread on his shoulder blades digging into his skin and the touch sent a shiver down Dean’s spine, made his skin prickle. The hands slowly slid down his back and he felt as Gabriel’s lips touched his nape first, then the back of his neck then the angel slowly went down putting wet kisses along his spine. By the time the wet trail reached his waist his dick swelled to full hardness pressed into the soft sheets. Both of Gabriel’s hands cupped his ass and he squeezed once before he pulled his lips away while grabbing Dean’s hips and pulling him up to his knees in one firm move.

‘Fuck’ Dean breathed as he put his weight on his elbows. If he felt exposed before he was wrong, that didn’t even come close to this, but Gabriel was a solid presence behind him and that made his blood rush in his veins in anticipation instead of unease. Then he felt as Gabriel stroked him between his cheeks and it made him moan. Then he put his hands on either side spreading his cheeks exposing his hole further. His breath got stuck in his lungs when he felt the soft wetness as Gabriel licked over it in one long stride.

His breath left him in a guttural moan as he fisted the sheets tightly. Gabriel licked again.

‘Aaah fuck… Gabriel… wha--’ his words died on his lips as his thoughts shattered into chaos when the tip of the angel’s tongue teased the tight ring of muscle. It was… fuck, he couldn’t think. His word narrowed down to the hot wetness of Gabriel’s tongue, his breath on his skin, his hands on him. He groaned again when Gabriel pushed his tongue onto his hole a bit more, licking and teasing it. Dean’s dick throbbed when he finally pushed his tongue inside a bit, forcing the muscle to relax, to open up at the intrusion. Dean had to bury his face in the sheets, his fists still twisted in the material too.

‘No’ Gabriel spoke as he pulled away. ‘Let me hear you’ Dean turned his head to the side so he could glance back at Gabriel. He just caught as Gabriel sucked one finger into his mouth, making it wet.

‘Oh fuck yes’ he panted, he desperately wanted more now. It was Gabriel’s tongue again that he felt first and he bit his lips to silence his loud cry a little, not that it helped much. Gabriel’s tongue was inside of him again, wet and hot and it made his entire body tremble with want. The first finger slid inside easily and Dean pushed back on to it, taking it deeper. Gabriel put a kiss on his spine again as he started to move the finger in and out of his body, twirling it around opening him up. Dean groaned and pushed back again.

‘You want more Precious?’ Gabriel asked and Dean didn’t have to look to know that he was smiling.

‘Yes, fuck… much more’ Dean told him. Gabriel pulled his finger out and pushed back with two almost forcefully; Dean arched his back and groaned yes. Just the way he wanted it, needed it. The fingers were slick with something more than spit, but Dean didn’t care what it was just focused on the sudden stretch, Gabriel’s fingers inside of him. The angel moved the digits in and out a few times before he started scissoring and twirling them, stretching him more and Dean’s hips were uncontrollably snapping back after that, fucking himself back on the fingers, but oh it felt so good, even if not enough.

‘Gabriel’ he moaned. His dick felt hard and heavy between his legs but he didn’t reach for it, he didn’t want to come like this, not yet. The angel curled his fingers and brushed the place inside that he avoided so far and Dean lost all focus and coherency as the muscles of his body tensed when the wave of pleasure washed over him suddenly. He probably started begging for more, but he didn’t pay attention to his own words.

The stretch of three fingers was amazing, he opened and relaxed easily at the feel of them sliding into him. Gabriel was thorough, but it was enough, he wanted more now, he was ready, he was beyond ready.

‘Oh fuck, please’ he moaned.

‘What do you want Precious?’ Gabriel asked in an almost whisper, his voice was dark and heavy with lust. ‘Tell me and I give it to you.’

‘Fuck--’ Gabriel stroked his prostate again and his words ended up in a whimper, it was hard to speak, he just wanted more ‘Fuck me’ he panted. ‘Fuck me now.’ Gabriel spread his fingers a bit and pushed down onto the bundle of nerves again. ‘C’mon… please… fuck me Gabriel. I want you, I want your dick, fill me up, fuck me good, I want to feel you… now… Gabriel!’

Gabriel pulled his fingers out and turned him around so quickly that Dean almost couldn’t follow what was happening. He had no idea when Gabriel took off his jeans, but he was naked and he spread Dean’s legs apart, forcing one back almost to Dean’s chest and he pushed in with one long thrust. Dean wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss, the archangel let him and kissed him back as he bottomed out. Gabriel tore his lips away after a few seconds and caught Dean’s eyes with his own as he started moving. His rhythm was fast and strong, but Dean was stretched and wet and more than ready for it.

There was nothing more he could do but take it and it was pure bliss. The way Gabriel filled him up completely how his heated body moved against his own was intoxicating. He tried to push back, meet every thrust with his hips, but soon he was incapable of that so he just tried to spread his legs wider as Gabriel’s dick slid in and out of him. He knew he was talking and moaning and clawing on Gabriel’s arms and back, but again his world narrowed down onto the pleasure the archangel was giving him.

Gabriel easily moved him a little, changing their angle and Dean openly cried out in ecstasy when he started pounding on his prostate like that. He was close to come, he felt it, he was close for a while and held out as long as he could but it was getting too much. The pleasure was overwhelming, Gabriel above him, inside him, with him. He was pushed over the edge soon, his body lighting up, his muscles tensing, his senses blinded by white-hot bliss exploding in him as he painted both of their stomachs with his seed. He was riding it out with Gabriel still thrusting into him rapidly. Lips were on his, tongues and mouths met messily and feverishly, fingers were digging into flesh, nails were biting into sweat-slick skin, breath mingling, bodies writhing in abandon, sliding together closely, held, joined, taken, owned. Gabriel groaned loudly, his hand closed around the back of Dean’s skull when he let go and filled his blessed-out body as he came inside of him.

It took Dean a lot of time to get back to himself, his breathing was hard and his heart wanted to burst out of his chest. His body, muscles and even his bones felt worn out and sore, but he enjoyed each and every sensation. He didn’t move his hand from Gabriel’s back so they were wrapped around each other for a while. It took Gabriel a lot less time to catch his breath and then he pulled out and let Dean’s legs fall down into a more comfortable position as he slid down from above him.

‘Wow’ Dean managed after a while and he didn’t feel stupid for saying it, he felt absolutely justified in saying it actually. And his brain was not in any condition to form more coherent opinions anyway. Gabriel chuckled and pulled him into his arms, Dean curled half-above him like he always did while sleeping.

‘Oh I’m not done with you, but I let you catch your breath’ Gabriel told him. Dean managed to raise his head to look at him and no he didn’t seem like he was kidding.

‘There are worse ways to die I guess’ Dean told him as he put his head back down onto his shoulder, while the angel laughed. Gabriel’s fingertips stroked his back and it felt electric on his over-sensitive skin. They were silent for a while and Dean was tired but couldn’t actually slip into sleep as it was in the middle of the day, so he just rested.

‘Do you want to join me the next time I leave?’ Gabriel asked then. Dean raised his head again.

‘Outside?’ he asked in a surprised tone. ‘Not afraid I run away?’ he asked teasingly.

‘I promised I let you go after I told you everything’ Gabriel said. ‘So do you want to run away from me?’ he asked. Dean was shaking his head even before Gabriel finished the sentence.

‘Never’ he told him and Gabriel looked happy and pleased as he answered with a kiss.

xxx


	11. Chapter 11

Oh Dean was not fucking ready for this. He thought he was but he was wrong. Gabriel was enjoying his work, but Dean fled to the bedroom when the kitchen and living room of the pretty suburban home got painted red, the screams slowly turned into silence and Dean just breathed with his eyes closed until it was over. He was ready to admit that the idea was funny, he almost chuckled when the toys that came to life started chirping the “Happy Tree Friends” theme song but he was over his limit. He heard as the door opened.

‘Wasn’t this a bit of an overkill?’ Dean asked as he opened his eyes. Gabriel was leaning to the doorframe.

‘I’m an extremes kinda guy’ the angel answered with a smile.

‘What did they do anyway?’ Dean asked, because even if Gabriel could be easily ticked off when questioned he was in a more “human” mood and he had a higher tolerance then so Dean always used it to get answers.

‘You managed to run to the right place to figure that out’ Gabriel told him. ‘You might want to take a closer look around here.’ Dean frowned but turned his attention towards the room. Just like the living room it was full of plush toys, which was weird for a married couple with no kids. There was a huge bed, two armchairs, a fireplace, two closets and the bathroom door.

‘What am I supposed to see?’ he asked.

‘Try to be a bit more observant’ Gabriel told him. So Dean pushed himself off the wall and started walking around the room. Tiny things caught his attention one after the other. Circle marks on the wooden headboard like something bit into the wood… handcuffs? That wouldn’t have been his first guess normally, but Gabriel chose his victims carefully so there had to be something about the couple he couldn’t see right away. There was a hand camera on one of the shelves. He looked around again then walked to the closet. He opened the first one, and hello, some other type of “toys”. Dean started to have a very bad feeling about the place; he searched the closet and found a shoebox with labeled DVDs in it. Gabriel was silent, he waited for Dean to put the picture together. Dean closed the closet-door and went to the other one. And his blood ran cold at sight of tiny children costumes hanged up in it, princess dress, cowboy costume… fuck, fuck, fuck! He pushed them aside to see if there was anything else in there, but his hand stopped when it reached white thick plastic bags. His jaw clenched and his pulse beat furiously.

‘How many?’ he asked, squeezing the words out, because fuck there were too many discs in that shoebox.

‘Does it really matter?’ Gabriel asked.

‘I want to know!’ Dean snapped.

‘Eight women, five kids’ the angel supplied. Dean was gripping the closet door so tightly that his fingers were turning white.

‘I was wrong’ Dean said. ‘You clearly showed too much restraint.’

‘I could always bring them back and kill them again’ Gabriel offered.

‘Do it’ Dean replied as he pushed himself away from the closet and turned around heading back to the living room. ‘Do it’ he said is again as he walked out, his blood was burning with the sheer want to destroy. By the time he reached the living room the couple was already standing there confused, but dread on their faces when they noticed Dean and Gabriel behind him. Dean didn’t even stop his movement as he walked up and punched the guy in the face.

‘You sick fuck’ he spat as he hit him again. He heard that the wife shrieked, but there was a loud thud with the sound of cracking bones and she fell silent. Dean didn’t pay attention to her just hit the guy again and this time he could hear a crack in his jaw as his head slammed to the wall. Dean knew the feeling pouring out, surfacing in him, pure rage and sheer satisfaction at every new gash on that fucking face, every cracked rib and every cry of agony.

‘Please…’ the guy managed to moan out after a while, his lips not moving properly, his face a bloody mess, few teeth missing, his nose broken and blood dripping out of his nose and mouth.

‘Did they beg you too? Did they cry and begged for their freedom, begged you to stop?’ he asked, because no way in Hell the filthy bastard just tried to beg Dean for his sorry life. So Dean hit him again, and again and again. He only stopped when he didn’t move or breath anymore and he stepped back to let the body fall to the bloodied carpet. He took a few deep breaths then turned around and walked to the kitchen to throw up in the sink, emptying the entire content of his stomach.

He was so not fucking ready for this.

‘You okay?’ Gabriel asked as his fingers stroked the back of his neck and his hair soothingly.

‘I just beat someone to death, no I’m pretty far from okay, Gabriel’ Dean answered. He opened the tap to wash the foul taste out of his mouth with water, his body shook with adrenaline and tension.

‘It was justified’ Gabriel said. Dean turned and leaned to the counter.

‘Right, because they were murderous psychopaths and we’re the good guys’ Dean said.

‘No we’re not’ Gabriel told him and that made Dean look up at him in confusion. ‘We’re the lesser evil. I don’t want you to have any illusions about that.’ Dean huffed out a tired laugh as he shook his head.

‘Yeah that feels about right’ he admitted.

‘But still, in general humans are better off with you and me than Mr. and Mrs. Psycho’ Gabriel told him while he gestured towards the living room with his head. Dean just nodded, it didn’t make him feel better actually, but it was true. ‘Even if I would not want you to kill everyone with your bare hands’ Gabriel said as he reached out and touched Dean on the chest, the blood vanishing from his knuckles, face and clothes. ‘We are supposed to be doing things the trickster way, not the demon way.’ Dean looked up at him sharply.

‘Wow, you actually managed to make me feel even shittier’ he told him, because the demon comment was under the belt.

‘I’m not going to sugarcoat the truth’ Gabriel said sternly. ‘You have to face things before they become an issue and you need someone to smack you in the head with it to do that’ he put a hint of a smile at the end of that sentence. ‘If you don’t learn to do this right it’s going to drive you mad’ the angel continued in a serious tone as he caught Dean’s eyes with his own amber gaze. ‘And I already called dibs on being the insane one in this relationship’ he added in a lighter tone, and that made Dean huff out an honest laugh.

‘Okay, I guess I just… they won’t harm anyone else, no more innocents dying because of them’ and that was good, if he focused on that he could handle this, not that much different from hunting.

‘If that makes it better for you’ Gabriel shrugged.

‘Of course it does, this way I know why I’m doing this’ Dean told him.

‘I don’t think that actually matters’ the angel said. ‘Since it doesn’t make a difference in the end.’

‘Maybe, but it’s not just what you do, but why you do it. It’s important’ Dean argued.

‘Okay’ Gabriel said in a tone that told Dean that he was about to get lectured again. ‘Intentions. Here I am killing some scum for my own entertainment, doing something good for bad reasons. And I do think it is much better than someone doing something bad for good reasons. And I’d like to remind you of your little brother sucking demon blood to stop Lilith or my dear brothers wanting to kill a few billions of people for Paradise on Earth. So which one actually matters in the end? What we do or why we do it?’

Dean looked at him angrily for a few seconds. ‘Fine’ he groaned. ‘I hate arguing with you’ he added. Gabriel chuckled. ‘Let’s get the hell out of here, I feel sick just being here.’

‘Hey, you’re the one who said “Let’s kill some monsters” so I’m just respecting your wishes’ Gabriel said.

‘Yeah, but I meant actual monsters’ Dean said.

‘Oh yeah?’ Gabriel arched an eyebrow. ‘And what would you call these two? Humans?’ he asked.

‘You got a point’ Dean admitted and he reached out a hand so Gabriel could zap them away.

xxx

‘Noo… please… I’m… I’m just sick… I’m sick… you have to hand me over to the police… I need medical help… I didn’t want to do this… I need help… No… please… please…’

‘Oh for fuck’s sake Gabriel! Can I just shoot him? He’s driving me crazy!’

‘Now where’s the fun in that?’

‘He’s annoying me, I’m not having fun.’

‘Fine, suit yourself.’

*click*

‘No please! Please! Don’t… ple--’

*BAMM*

xxx

There were literally tears in his eyes and he couldn’t breathe, he was doubled over and laughing so hard he didn’t laugh in years or in his entire life. It was also sure that he won’t ever be able to look at Chihuahua again without bursting into laughter, but then again maybe it was all just the context.

He was trying to catch his breath and wipe the tears out of his eyes when Gabriel zapped back up to from where Dean was watching how things played out. He had a pleased smirk on his face and it was totally justified.

‘You’re the best’ Dean told him while still chuckling.

‘Thank you.’

‘No seriously, fucking brilliant’ Dean said as he walked closer to wrap his arms around his shoulder and kiss him. ‘I’m such an amateur’ he said after they parted.

‘Don’t say that Precious’ Gabriel said as he draped one of his arms around Dean’s waist. ‘You just need to find your own style.’

‘And get angel powers too from somewhere?’ he asked skeptically, because he was only human so he was way too limited.

‘You can substitute that with some creativity’ Gabriel told him. ‘Besides, I’m more than happy to be your wingman’ he grinned. Dean thought about it for a few moments then a smile appeared on his face.

‘Did you see the Saw movies?’ he asked and Gabriel smirked.

xxx

 ‘You’re insatiable’ Gabriel groaned. Dean pressed his face into the hardness in his jeans as he knelt in front of him, enjoying the feel of Gabriel’s arousal. He could turn on the angel in no time and he loved doing it. The douchebag they came for was already taken care of so the office was empty at the middle of the night.

‘Yes I am’ Dean answered as he mouthed at the bulge before opening the slacks, practically tearing it open to free the angel’s erection.

‘Aren’t we supposed to celebrate your first successful solo now?’ Gabriel asked as Dean started licking on his dick.

‘I am celebrating’ Dean grinned up at him while mouthing at the hard shaft. Gabriel laughed as he leaned his head back to the wall.

‘Oh be my guest then, don’t miss any part’ Dean chuckled as he dragged down Gabriel’s jeans a little to have more space. He then licked at his balls, sucking gently one into his mouth then the other, making them completely wet. ‘That’s it’ moaned the angel twisting his fingers into Dean’s hair. He never cut it completely short since Gabriel liked grabbing it to guide his head or hold him in place and Dean loved it when he did it. He knew now too what it meant so he licked slowly at the underside before wrapping his lips around the thick flesh to suck him into his mouth. He liked teasing Gabriel until he got fed up with Dean playing around and simply fucked his mouth, because there was something beyond hot about the archangel when he was on the verge of losing control completely. But this time he was hungry for feeling his cock in his mouth and he wanted to drag it out as long as he could. When Gabriel wanted, he could stay hard for hours, controlling his human vessel like no human could control a body, and Dean knew from his light and cheerful mood that he will indulge Dean and let him fool around all he wanted.

Dean loved it when he could do that. He could lick and suck and stroke him as much as he wanted and fuck he always wanted that, he definitely developed a pretty serious oral fixation he didn’t mind one bit. Gabriel loved his mouth and Dean loved using his mouth on him. And the best was that no matter how long he wanted to do it Gabriel could always still fuck him thoroughly right after. He waited until Gabriel got completely hard before he went down on him completely, relaxing his throat so he could take his entire length. Gabriel groaned loudly when Dean’s lips reached the hilt and Dean managed to smile as he pulled off again slowly, sucking on him the entire way.

Dean grabbed Gabriel’s hips, not to hold him in place but to keep his hands away from his own hardness in his jeans. Gabriel definitely liked getting him off so Dean never touched himself while giving head, and not even when Gabriel was buried in him deeply, fucking him fast and hard or tortuously slowly, he only did it when the angel wanted to watch him do it.

They had the same taste in sex in every way. Dean was over his mind with how strong Gabriel was. That was what drew him to men in the first place all his life, something hard and strong, not the soft delicate body of a woman, but someone who could bend him over and pin him down. And Gabriel could, he could manhandle him like he weighted nothing, could tie him down with his power or just hold him still with a hand and do what he pleased and what Dean craved from him, making him beg for his cock mindlessly. He never got close enough to a man to have all of that before, now he did and he was addicted to him, but he knew that Gabriel could not have enough of him either. His possessive touches and hungry looks showed it clearly.

‘Dean’ Gabriel called. ‘Get up’ and his tone sent a shiver down Dean’s spine because he knew it well now. He let Gabriel’s dick slip from his mouth and pulled himself up to his feet. His face was pulled closer and he was kissed hard. ‘My turn’ Gabriel growled into his mouth and Dean just grinned at him challengingly. And he knew what it would lead to, but he would love every ache in his body and every bruise on his skin and walking was overrated anyways.

xxx

‘Do you love me Precious? Love me the way I love you, wholly and absolutely? Am I your world like you are mine? Are you mine now like I am yours? Will you belong to me forever?’

‘Yes.’

‘Good.’

xxx

‘I’m gonna get your car back, I know you love it’ Gabriel said out of the blue, and Dean blinked up at him in confusion. Normally he was good at following the shifts in the archangel, but he still managed to be surprised sometimes. He’s been all angelic and cold for days, his entire being radiating good old (Testament) doom and gloom smite-happy archangel. It was probably fucking scary to anyone who was not Dean, but he thought it was really hot even if there was no playful fooling around if he made a move on him when he was like that, it was still pretty awesome.

Then they stumbled upon some scum just waiting to be taken care of and his angelic behavior morphed into his violent trickster one in a heart-beat, like a predator reacting when smelling blood. His wicked humor surfaced, just like his barely controlled impulses and outbursts. He almost constantly wore one if his more cruel smiles and there was a reason why Dean always thought that he was the most dangerous while being like that – again for everyone who was not Dean of course – because he was absolutely unpredictable. He was a lot kinkier in bed too when he was in this sort of mood which was something Dean loved, even if it was mighty unfair of Gabriel to pluck memories out of his mind, especially ones about pink panties.

Now Dean looked up at him and smiled. Leaned closer and put a kiss on his lips, because that was always the first thing he did when Gabriel slipped back into his norm, he expected another few days of deadly games and kinky nights with his trickster, but seemed like the angel managed to clear his head sooner than usual.

‘Sam has my car’ Dean told him after the kiss ended and he went back to making the knots on the ropes he would need later.

‘I know’ Gabriel said and he just smiled when Dean raised an eyebrow. Dean huffed out a laugh and shook his head. He really couldn’t follow him sometimes, but he was busy with prepping his new game so he was distracted.

‘You know what?’ he stopped after a few moments. ‘You’re right, I do miss my car’ he said, because it finally reached his mind what Gabriel meant. ‘Bring it’ he said, Gabriel’s smile was a lot more meaningful after that and he disappeared in a flutter of wings in the next second. ‘Oh this is gonna be fun’ Dean chuckled.

xxx


	12. Chapter 12

_Now_

 

The first thing Sam heard was a scream and even if the sudden light made him squint his eyes closed for a second he whipped around towards the source of it. The first thing that caught his eyes were the two men, they were dangling beyond the edge of the roof – because apparently they were on a roof of some building – each of them holding on to ropes that hung from some ducts above them, they could barely reach each other and there was no way for them to reach the edge. The second thing Sam noticed was the stench, he couldn’t identify it and his nose was still mostly filled with blood but it was a strong chemical, alcoholic smell.

The two guys seemed wet, like they were drenched in water, it was dripping from their clothes and hair, they were holding on to their own ropes while they did their best to kick, hit or cut each other with the knives they had in their hands. One of the guys was bleeding from a wound on his shoulder so it was probably him who screamed before.

‘C’mon Karl, I know you can do better than that! I saw how good you’re with a knife, you’re just not trying hard enough.’

Sam turned so quickly that he almost lost his balance, but even after such a long time just hearing his brother’s voice was a relief. The first thing he noticed was that his hair was longer – which was a strange sight – but otherwise he looked the same wearing jeans and T-shirt and what mattered the most he was alive and seemingly unharmed. Then the words registered in Sam’s still fuzzy brain and it made him dread why Gabriel was so ready to bring him to Dean.

His train of thoughts was interrupted by another shout as one of the guys managed to stab the other, he howled in pain then fell, not being able to hold to rope any longer with his bleeding wound, his shout was heard for a while before it ended with a loud thud as he smashed to the ground.

‘Whoa’ Dean exclaimed. ‘9.4 for that fall… I knew you could do it Karl, you had it in you… but dude, you just killed your best friend and partner in crime to save your own life’ he shook his head in disapproving manner. ‘I’m very disappointed in you.’

He reached in his back pocket and even as far away from where he and Gabriel were standing Sam recognized a Zippo. The guy hanging from the rope looked panicked immediately.

‘No! You said--’

‘I never said the winner gets to live’ Dean told him, the guy tried to throw his knife at him without success and even as he started shouting Dean flipped open the lighter when he reached the place where the rope was secured to the roof. The rope caught fire so rapidly that it was almost hard to follow as the flame ran along it until it reached the guy whose clothes and hair burst into heavy fire in a second. He screamed and let go of the rope in his agony falling to the depth. His scream only ended when he hit the ground. Sam was too shocked to move, to breathe or to get his mouth to work so he could call his brother’s name. Gabriel started clapping next to him as he walked closer.

‘Bravo’ Gabriel chuckled. ’That’s my boy! 10 points for that fall’ Dean turned around from where he was looking over to the edge of the building and his face lighted up in a smile as he spotted Gabriel. His steps were quick and hurried as he walked closer to reach him, he practically leaped to the archangel. He was grinning by the time he got there and didn’t hesitate for a second before he wrapped his arms around the angel’s neck and shoulder and started kissing him deeply. Gabriel draped an arm around his waist in a seemingly familiar gesture. Sam just blinked and even when they parted he couldn’t start talking, this was wrong, this was wrong on so many levels.

‘What on Earth did you spill all around here?’ Gabriel asked then. And Dean laughed cheerfully at the question.

‘Isopropanol’ he said with a grin as he let go of Gabriel. ‘Homemade, my first time using it. It’s a killer! Much better than gasoline, it has a real low flash point and stings the skin like a bitch just to be extra fun. It’s fucking toxic when it burns but that gives some pretty sweet possibilities for closed spaces’ he said it all with the eagerness of a kid who just got a new toy.

‘I knew there was a real genius behind that pretty face of yours’ Gabriel praised with a grin.

‘I’m compensating for my lack of cosmic powers by creativity’ Dean smiled back at him.

‘Dean’ Sam finally managed to breath out. His brother turned his head immediately and looked at him. There was no surprise, nor shock on his face. He just looked at him for a few moments.

‘Sam’ he said with a laugh and he turned back to Gabriel. ‘Where did you catch this one?’ he asked.

‘I think he was actually hunting me and not the other way around’ Gabriel said.

‘Uh, bad move’ Dean chuckled. Sam stared at his brother again, but it felt like he was looking at someone else. The face was the same, his hazel eyes were the same but everything else… was off. His chuckle was all wrong, his laugh sounded almost wicked and while he smiled at Gabriel with compassion, the same smile was cold when he turned towards Sam.

‘What did you do to him?’ he asked, his voice only above a whisper and shaking, but it was getting stronger as anger surfaced in him. Gabriel just rolled his eyes at him then shared a look with Dean Sam couldn’t understand. ‘What did you do to him?!’ he shouted now while repeating the question as what he saw on the roof since he was brought here completely sank in. ‘What the fuck did you do to him you sick bastard?!’ he growled as he took a step closer. It was Dean who moved, he was fast and Sam was weak and still wobbly after the last hours and the constant dimness in his mind. Dean used his entire weight to slam Sam to the nearest wall – the small cubicle that had the stairway door on it – his head smacked to the brick painfully. When he wanted to react one hand was on his throat already, the other on his collarbone keeping him in place. He froze, not trying to fight. Dean’s eyes were angry, but cold as he looked at him.

‘I dare you to talk to Gabriel like this again, Sam’ he said slowly in a low threatening tone. Sam just stared back at him with wide eyes and he knew immediately that things were so much worse than he first thought.

‘Let him go, Precious’ Gabriel said then. ‘I have something special in store for him’ Dean stepped back and let him go a second later and the world shifted around them as Gabriel snapped his fingers.

When Sam looked around again they were inside a large room so it again took his eyes a moment to adjust to the change in light. Dean was looking at him with a frown on his face and with his arms crossed over his chest while Gabriel dropped down to a couch of sorts that was not far away from them. Sam noticed tables on the sides of the room and all kinds of tools and weapons hung on the walls as well but mostly he kept his eyes on his brother and not paid attention to his surroundings.

‘I’m so sorry I couldn’t find you sooner’ he said, because even if he wasn’t sure how bad things were or if they were beyond repair or not, but he cursed himself for not being able to figure out who took his brother away from him. ‘I never stopped looking, I knew you couldn’t be dead, but I couldn’t find you… I did everything… Dean c’mon, whatever he did to you… we gotta get away from him…’ Gabriel chuckled from his spot on the couch, but didn’t say a thing. ‘I took me too long, but I found you now, we can get you out of this.’ He had no idea how they could do that even if Dean gave him a sign, any sign that he wanted to get away. But fuck, he just stared at Sam, his face a mixture of disdain and amusement. And while the younger Winchester feared that his words wouldn’t be enough to reach his brother he also couldn’t imagine what his brother might’ve been put through this past year that changed everything in him so drastically.

Dean snorted. ‘Yeah because wanting to tear me and Gabriel apart will get you my sympathy’ he said and Gabriel laughed quietly from the couch again.

‘What did he do to you? Dean! He kidnapped you over a year ago and… this is just fucking Stockholm syndrome or something, you have to… listen to me.’ Dean actually rolled his eyes after that. ‘Look at yourself! You just killed that guy, a human. Don’t you see what’s wrong anymore? How could he make you do this?!’ And Sam didn’t want to think about his brother doing things like that, because even if Sam slipped from the right path before Dean never did.

‘Oh my God!’ Dean exclaimed as he looked at Sam with a shocked expression. ‘A moral lecture from Sam Winchester, wow…’ he smiled before he started laughing and Gabriel joined him. ‘Talk about irony, huh?’ he said as he turned to Gabriel.

‘Dean, listen to me!’ Sam pleaded.

‘Yeah well, I don’t really give a rat’s ass about what you might want to say, sorry’ he said nonchalantly as he walked to the couch too and dropped himself down leisurely, lying down on his back with his head in Gabriel’s lap. The archangel smiled down at him as he stroked a few fingers down his face and Dean closed his eyes for a moment at the touch his face relaxed and pleased immediately. It gave Sam a sick feeling just to think about how long and what it might’ve taken Gabriel to get Dean to be this… pliable. The way he lay down to Gabriel’s side and reacted to his touch, he looked disconcertingly too much like a pet seeking its master’s affection for Sam’s taste.

The next second he felt the now familiar pressure in his body. It slammed into him like a hammer this time, making him cry out in pain and he fell to his knees.

‘Whoa, what did he do?’ he heard Dean ask, but his tone was only curious no trace of worry in it.

‘He just thought you to be my pet’ Gabriel growled, and fucking hell the bastard really could get into his head then, Sam didn’t know that for sure until now. His head was buzzing, his ears ringing and his vision went blurry. He heard that Dean was speaking then but he couldn’t make out the words, he couldn’t perceive anything actually until the pressure was gone and he could breathe again.

‘…how much you love me’ was the first thing he could hear clearly, and it was Dean speaking in a rather gentle tone. ‘I was such a pain in the ass first, I know I was, but you did what was best for me even when I was fighting you, and you were patient with me even when it was hard for you.’

‘Of course I was’ Gabriel said. ‘It was for you, I knew you would see it.’

Sam’s vision just cleared out in time to see as Gabriel leaned down to kiss his brother on the lips. The archangel stroked Dean’s hair once when they parted.

‘How about I snap you home and you wait for me until I’m done here?’ he asked and Dean smirked.

‘On the bed? Or the floor?’ he asked and Sam squeezed his eyes shut and wished he didn’t have to see or hear what was made of his brother. ‘Spread and wet, or do you want to fuck me open yourself?’

‘Surprise me’ Gabriel answered with a pleased groan. Gabriel brushed his fingers on Dean’s forehead to make him disappear. The gentle features of the angel’s face vanished the second he was gone and he looked up at Sam with a cold smile.

‘What did you do to him?’ Sam asked again, but this time his voice was small.

‘What I did?’ Gabriel asked as he stood up. He walked closer until he was only a step away from Sam and looked down on him. ‘I broke him to pieces then put him back together to my own liking.’

‘You fucking--’

‘I would choose my words wisely if I were you. Dean actually did you a favor by warning you; I tend to be unpleasant if someone insults me.’

‘It’s only been a year’ Sam said, because Dean was strong, he held out for decades in Hell. How could Gabriel twist him into something else in only a year? Gabriel actually chuckled.

‘Doesn’t matter’ he said. ‘It’s easy to break something if you know how to push, and I did. It only took hard truths, deep pleasure and some gently whispered lies.’

‘Why are you doing this to us?’ Sam asked.

‘This has absolutely nothing to do with you’ Gabriel said simply as he started walking again, never getting too far, encircling Sam like predators their pray. ‘Well, it does a little, since I don’t actually like you. And if you haven’t betrayed your brother in the past the way you did, or if you haven’t thrown his love and care back to his face so many times I would’ve never had all the necessary tools, so thank you for that.’ Sam could hear in his voice that he was smiling even if he didn’t turn around to look at his face.

‘So you turned him against me?’ he asked.

‘No, I just had to cut you out, tear you from his heart forever’ he said right next to Sam’s left ear, he didn’t hear him move but he was not surprised about that. ‘And that place you had, it belongs to me now. He’s not your enemy he just doesn’t give a shit about you. I matter, only I and no one else.’

He straightened up again and continued his circle with slow steps.

‘Why?’ Sam asked. ‘You just wanted to turn him into your toy, so you did?’ his anger was surfacing again. Gabriel was in front of him in a second and he grabbed his chin with one hand, turning it up and locking their eyes.

‘He’s not my toy or my pet, but he is mine. I wanted him so I made him want me and now he does. I love him like he deserves to be loved, never betrayed, never left behind. And he loves me more than he ever loved anyone.’

‘It’s a lie’ Sam managed to squeeze out even if his jaw hurt in Gabriel’s grip and he was sure that the bone would break if he put more pressure on it. ‘You made him like this.’

‘And what does that matter?’ the angel asked in a curious tone as he let go of Sam’s chin and stepped back to look at him.

‘It’s not real’ Sam said. ‘Not how he acts and not what he feels.’ Gabriel’s features hardened even further and Sam again felt the pressure building inside his body, slowly this time as the angel locked his eyes on him. ‘It’s a lie you created, it was never real and it never will be.’ He had to stop as the pressure reached his head and he became dizzy, leaning one hand down to the ground so he wouldn’t fall. ‘He’s not even the same person anymore’ he continued and his chest ached as his lungs had a hard time to move, every breath was heavy now.

‘No, he is free now. Free from you and the chains your father put on him’ Gabriel said.

‘He never wanted to be free from that’ Sam said between to choking breaths.

‘Because he was blind! But I opened his eyes and he’s grateful that I did!’ there was the first traces of anger in the archangel’s tone now, it made Sam irrationally pleased.

‘Like this he is no more real than one of your illusions, something you made and shaped. It’s not real, none of it is real.’ His vision blurred again and every breath was painful, but even with the lack of oxygen and the feeling of his body strangling him, his heartbeat was starting to slow down.

‘It’s real enough for us’ Gabriel whispered. Sam saw the drops of blood on the ground, too much of it in front of him.

‘It’s a lie and it never will be anything more’ Sam choked out and his arm slipped out from under him and he fell to the floor completely. Every breath was a struggle and his heartbeat was slowing, beating less and less by the second.

‘I don’t care what you think’ Gabriel said as he crouched down next to Sam, the man could barely see him as his vision was darkening on the edges. ‘You don’t matter, not to me and not to Dean. But I will make you pay for everything you ever done to him, because no sin like that can go unpunished forever.’

The angel was only a blur and even his voice was fading away. His heart fought, tried to beat life into his body but it was forced to slow, his lungs tried to comply his will and move, but they couldn’t anymore. He felt a finger trace down his face, but maybe he was wrong, he couldn’t focus anymore, everything slipped away to darkness and he only heard Gabriel’s disappearing voice.

‘You’re going to die now Sam, but don’t worry… It’s Tuesday.’

 

The End

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  This work of fanfiction is licensed under a  [Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/) . This is a fan-written derivative work. Nearly all characters, names and places in the story belong to Eric Kripke and all other respective owners.


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